Still Life?

Why is it that I just can’t sit still? I don’t mean the squirmy kid kind of sitting still. I mean the settling into life and being satisfied with what and who I am kind of still.




Yesterday, while my husband was working and my daughter was visiting her dad, I found myself with something that I’m unaccustomed to having: time for myself. I knew this was coming and had planned to do some things that I had long wanted to do. I was looking forward to a few hours working on my photography, sorting through images to print, put together a portfolio, write a few days worth of blogs, work on a short story I want to submit, finish with a couple of photo contest entries, and maybe actually go out and drop off some work to a retailer or two in hopes of making a sale. You can see that my list was extensive and therefore became somewhat overwhelming. You would think that perhaps I would have been able to accomplish a few items, maybe even start a few more. How much of it did I do? None. Instead I did some shopping for the house and garden, started some slow cooked ribs for dinner, mulched the bed in front of the house, filled the birdfeeders, did all of the dishes, ran 2 miles, and made some guacamole. Most of those things can be done with my husband and kid around. I was supposed to be focusing on the things I can’t do when they’re in the house, the stuff that needs uninterrupted concentration.

I asked myself, in the midst of scooping out avocados, why I was doing such a thing. Why wasn’t I in the office, doing what I claim to love doing? Is it because it’s hard? Is it because after a few non stop days, I was burnt out and really needed to just be making guacamole at that time?



Being quiet and still is extremely difficult when the world streams on. I find it hard to be inactive mentally for even a few moments. The idea of mindfulness is intriguing but I find it a challenge to implement. My mind is constantly racing, checking off and adding to the to-do list. Like the tide, the list ebbs and flows, but doesn’t stop. I am not concerned that my inability to recall each item is a sign of a mental deficiency. I am concerned about its effect on my health, as I tend to carry my stress in my shoulders and neck. To take a few minutes to quietly breathe and think of nothing seems impossible. Perhaps yoga or meditation would be of benefit. How do you calm the mind and spirit?