On the road: I love hotels

Comfy bed at Sheraton Fort Lauderdale Beach Hotel

I love hotels.  It may sound strange but I do.  Maybe it’s all the hoteliness of it all.  The beds made with fresh sheets and extra pillows.  The shower and tub all sparkly clean with nice fluffy towels.  All of the efficient, little shampoos and soaps.  And the best – the very best part – is that I don’t have to clean up!  The used towels disappear, the beds get made, and all is reset as if by elves.  

Awesome bed at Boston Park Plaza hotel

  Okay, I know that not all hotels are perfect and traveling on a budget as I do, I’ve had my share of crappy hotel stays.  I read reviews and check out the star ratings of the places I stay and do my best to select locations that are safe, clean, and try hard, even if they’re not part of the chain hotels.  I think that’s important.  On vacation, we stayed at the Americana Hotel in Arlington VA.  TripAdvisor.com reviewers said it was run down, yes, but inexpensive in an expensive market (Washington DC) and clean and friendly.  For the most part, they were right.  The front desk staff was attentive and very helpful, not acquiring the glazed over look of the frazzled, phone juggling, direction giving, name tag wearing, maintenance calling, folks I’ve met in some of the chains.  The breakfast area in the lobby looked recently remodeled but a bit cramped, but you can tell they were trying . . . donuts, muffins, cereal and good hot coffee.  We stayed there after having spent a week in a Wyndham Clubs resort in Williamsburg, VA, which was awesome, spacious, and generous, like a perfect little home away from home for us.   

In room coffee at Seaport Boston Hotel

So in comparison, the Americana Hotel in Arlington had a few things that were starkly differentiating.  Much smaller space (2 br condo vs. 1 room hotel with 3 people and perhaps you get the picture), no refrigerator or microwave (these are things I’m coming to require in a room-maybe I’m asking too much), really – I mean really – small bathroom with very little counter space or shelf space to put out our toiletries, a rattling and noisy air conditioner, and kind of a damp mustiness that I may have been imagining, but probably not.  But in its defense, the room at the Americana Hotel, had a great flowing shower and that noisy air conditioner kept the steamy summer temps nice and cool.  And with rates at just over half the cost of other hotels in the area, I can see why it is a regular traveler’s favorite in the area.  I would recommend it if you can deal with the dated but squeaky clean yellow tile in the bathroom and the not flat screen TV.  If you’re looking for a place to crash after a day of visiting the Smithsonian Museums and other capitol sites, this was fine.  It was within walking distance to the Metro and a mall and plenty of restaurants.  

Bed at Hampton Inn Chicopee MA

The hotel I’m staying in at the moment is the Hampton Inn in Chicopee, Massachusetts.  I’m here because the tourism organization that I work for, The Maine Highlands, is exhibiting at The Big E, which I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, in anticipation of my pilgrimage.  New in my position last year, I hadn’t booked rooms for my group as far in advance as is needed and found myself booking here in Chicopee which is a bit further from the fairgrounds than most exhibitors like to be, therefore rooms were available at the last minute.  This year I booked a room closer to the fair for my volunteers, but having had a great experience here last year, booked myself at the Hampton Inn in Chicopee.  

When I got here yesterday afternoon, I was really glad I did book here.  Within the last year, the lobby has had a fabulous makeover.  They moved the free breakfast zone from the main lobby area to a separate room off of the lobby.  The free breakfast is one of the draws for me.  Another is the free hot coffee available 24/7.  At night, I get 2 cups robust coffee black to take to my room.  I like to have coffee first thing in the morning, and am not into getting dressed to go downstairs for coffee.  When my husband is with me, he does that (he’s one of those morning people) but on my own, I get the coffee, some creamers, and a cup of tea for that evening, then in the morning, I microwave the coffee (I know I know – not everyone likes microwave coffee and I’m usually one of those people but I’d rather have microwaved coffee than have to get dressed).  The room, a regular room, not a suite or anything, is comfortable, feels clean, and has the stuff I love in a hotel room – fridge, microwave, large desk with free wifi – a huge plus – beds with four pillows on each bed, a fluffy white duvet, a cool lap desk so I can write in bed, big TV with Showtime, and nice complimentary toiletries like shampoo, conditioner, lotion, and mouthwash.  Plenty of towels, lots of light, a big comfy chair, huge closet, and rooms to spread out all my stuff.  I travel with a lot of stuff.  Breakfast this morning was a filling mix of scrambled eggs, turkey sausage, one of those pour-flip-sizzle waffles, mixed fresh fruit, and yep, more coffee.  They also had a three tiered display case of pastries, muffins, bagels and breads and three kinds of cereal.  I like to fill up at breakfast so that I can go for a while without having to stop to eat. 

Oh and the showers . . . its so nice to take a shower without that pesky having-to-leave-hot-water-for-others thing. 

The absolute best thing:  I don’t have to do dishes.  

Or slice or chop or negotiate and serve.  

efficiency kitchen at Best Western Chocolate Lake Halifax NS

It’s a mini vacation.  Ok, I haven’t been lounging by the pool or waiting in lines for a thrill ride or museum, but the little niceties of a good hotel room make it feel like that.  At home, there’s always some nagging chore that needs attention, something I have to tend to, work to be done.  In a hotel room that work might still need doing but unless you took it with you, you simply can’t do it.  You MUST sink back into the pillows and mush your mind with Honey Boo-Boo.  And in the morning, there’s no delay that comes from starting a load of laundry before work or getting the recycling out before the truck rolls around the corner. 

So for you my dear readers, I will suffer through trade show season staying at a variety of hotels along the way and when I can pull myself out of the plush mountain of pillows, I will write about them. 

I’d love to hear about what you love about hotels.    

Big pile of pillows at Hampton Inn

   

Written at the smooth and spacious desk in room 216 Hampton Inn Chicopee Massachusetts. 

If you want to be happy, be.

This quote was in a newsletter I got yesterday.  It was attributed to Leo Tolstoy.  A short little sentence it is, but oh the power it assumes.  As I read it and thought about it, I could almost feel the happiness roll over me. 

If you want to be happy, you can be happy.  Why is it that we tend to give away to others the power of our own happiness?  By that I mean the self defeating statements that I know I’m guilty of enunciating like “I’ll be happy when  . . . we can buy a bigger house . . . this winter is over . . . fill in the blank.”  It could be anything on which you hinge happiness. 

 So, stop waiting ... 
Until your car or home is paid off. 
Until you get a new car or home. 
Until your kids leave the house. 
Until you go back to school. 
Until you finish school. 
Until you lose 10 lbs. 
Until you gain 10 lbs. 
Until you get married. 
Until you get a divorce. 
Until you have kids. 
Until you retire. 
Until summer.. 
Until spring. 
Until winter. 
Until fall. 
Until you die. There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, 
and, dance like no one's watching. 

If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.  It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one. 

I recall a story that was emailed to me a few years back.  A man’s wife had just died and he was preparing the outfit in which she would be buried.  In her closet he comes across several brand new outfits, lovely ones, still with tags on them.  She had been saving them for something, some special time, not thinking that the day may never come.  Feel good and be happy now.  Why had she not enjoyed the new clothes and the way they felt against her skin or the way the color set off her eyes?  Why wait?

Okay so as we roll into another year, I’m going to post this little quote on the top of my day planner.  I will write it in random places in my calendar to remind me that I don’t need a reason or have to wait to be happy.  My life is good today. 

Merry Christmas all!

Vacation Justification

Snorkeling in Mexico

We will soon need a new roof. The stairs that lead up from the driveway tilt at an angle that’s disconcerting and frankly, dangerous when even slightly slick. Converting to natural gas would probably save us a lot of money long term. Perhaps overly sensitive to the cold, last winter I swore we would get a pellet stove insert for the inefficient fireplace in our living room.


I’ve got an 11 year old with teenage tastes. She’s got an iPhone. She wants a laptop. She’s got a fashion sense of her own now and I can’t get away with less expensive clothing anymore. Voice lessons. Gymnastics. A whole new school year ahead of us with higher after school care costs and hot lunch has gone up as well.

Build confidence.  Try new things.  It's good for you.

My point is that we have better things we should be doing with our money than thinking about vacation.

Suze Orman would scold us. Her show has a segment called “Can I afford it?” We watched it a while back as she denied a caller who made much more than we do and had quite a sum in savings. The man and his wife wanted to spend $2500 to take their two little kids to Disney World. The woman denied Disney! She said take them when they’re teenagers, a decade into the future, because they’ll remember it more. What about the creation of memories NOW? What about the value of the experience? How does that translate into an asset?

Well, that’s a good question. In search of justification – and NO I will not be calling into Suze’s show – I thought I’d do a little research into the benefits of vacation, a break from the stress and strains of daily life.

Okay. To the proof:

Don't we look healthy?  Two years ago in Mexico.

HEALTH BENEFITS

Plodding along at the office might get you brownie points with the boss, but can be detrimental to your overall health and wellbeing. Being stressed for long periods of time without a break has been shown to lead to higher blood pressure and an increase in coronary heart disease. If you are a female, taking a vacation can cut this risk by half, according to a study conducted at the State University of New York. Stress can impair hippocampus function, too, making it more difficult to acquire new information, like people’s names, meeting times and dates, and things like logins and PINs. A study quoted in Forbes.com showed that women who took vacations more frequently were less likely to become tense or depressed, and also reported being more satisfied in their marriages. Remember that your physical and mental health have a direct link to your social and psychological outlook on life. bottom line on this one is that the more you vacation, the more likely you are to be healthy and enjoy life.

From a financial perspective, being sick is expensive! Staying healthy can save you money on doctor and medical bills. Taking a vacation can reduce the stress triggered health ailments that wear you down and less money will be spent dealing with the negative consequences of poor health.

Me & my daughter at Virginia Beach.

STREGNTHEN BONDS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

Vacationing together can strengthen family and marriage bonds. Traveling together is at time harrowing, and making it to your destination can bring a sense of camaraderie and accomplishment. Sharing new experiences and creating memories that can last a lifetime. Partners often reveal new sides of themselves to each other that wouldn’t have been prompted in their home environments.

A quiet moment at the beach.

GET A CREATIVE BOOST

In our day to day lives, we often find ourselves mired in patterns of behavior that don’t leave much room for inspiration. The same morning routine, the same meals, the same TV shows and the same, well, everything might be comfortable but it doesn’t provide the opportunity to explore new ways of thinking. Taking a vacation and travelling out of your regular environment can open your eyes and your mind and bring about self discovery. Being in a foreign setting, we put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation, and this allows our brains to think differently. A good vacation can help us reconnect with ourselves. It satisfies our own human curiosity about other places. It is your moment to explore the world. When was the last time you could PLAY? I mean really play, without phone calls or interruptions. Vacations let you recapture that childlike freedom.



If taking a vacation will bring us closer together, give us better physical and mental health, and promote overall well being then what’s the argument. It would seem that the benefits far outweigh the costs. I’m not suggesting that we deplete our savings to do this. If we didn’t both have steady jobs and a retirement savings going on, I might leave this on the shelf as a dream. But the justification is right there in black and white.

New experiences.

It won’t be long before my eleventeen year old really won’t want to be taking vacations with us, or if she does, no doubt that a friend will be coming along. I feel that I need to seize the opportunity to create these memories with her now, not wait for a later date. I was reminded just last night about how fast the time goes by with children.

I know from experience that when my husband or I is stressed, we tend to have less patience with each other and laugh less frequently. We find ourselves just existing together, not really enjoying each other. That’s not why I got married.

Carpe diem I say. Seize the day. Request the time off. Make the reservation. Pack it up and get away for a bit. It will do you good on so many levels.

Summer in Vacationland; Part 2: summer lists

Rarely do I heed my own advice. I put great effort into the research of fun things to do in the state of Maine. Three months ago, I wrote a blog post about some of the great ideas I had for things that I wanted to do here in Maine this summer. Technically, we’re just about halfway between the first day of summer and the first day of autumn, but in the minds of most of us, summer runs between Memorial Day and Labor Day, or if you’re on kid time, as I am, the last day of school through to the first. This is when it really FEELS like summer. The stores stock summer stuff like barbeque tools, beach chairs, flip flops and bug spray. There’s that antsy sense that something is going to happen. We open the windows. We seed the garden. It’s a beautiful thing. Part of what I like to do is to make a list of all the things I want to do in the summer, given that it’s my favorite time of year. Here is a streamlined version of the list I made on May 5th and the status of each item.

1. Bike the carriage trails at Acadia National Park. – didn’t do this yet, but it’s still on the radar. I’m quickly running out of weekends.

2. Go to Sandy Stream Pond in Baxter State Park. – this is still on the agenda, too, perhaps for the early fall?

3. Spend a day (and night) at Old Orchard Beach. – spent an evening, but not the day at the beach, yet. This weekend might be the opportunity to do that.

4. Fairs and Festivals a plenty. – Bangor Fair is going on right now, and I haven’t been so far this week. Haven’t been to a single other fair this summer. This is really bumming me out since I really do enjoy them so much.

5. Maine has some beautiful lakes and ponds. – okay, here’s some success – spent the 4th of July at Swan Lake, just picnicked at China Lake, and am planning a family gathering at Long Pond next weekend.

6. Organized fun – theme park style: Funtown in Saco with its sister water park, Splashtown. – well, we did a BIG theme park, Busch Gardens, but that doesn’t qualify as a Maine thing to do. We did spend a day at the Funtown/Splashtown parks which was a lot of fun.

7. The beaches of York and Wells – went to Wells on a few occasions, went through both Wells and York on the way to Virginia. Haven’t made it to the beaches of either so far. (like how optimistic that sounds? So far . . )

8. Nature walks and hikes – okay, did the Rachel Carson nature walk and hiked at Camden Hills state park.

9. Shopping: well, I didn’t really do much for shopping. Went to the Grasshopper Shop a few times, but no other funky shops or boutiques. My bank account has been stretched too thin to spend unnecessarily.

10. Art galleries: not a one. This is really sad. I love to visit them, but hey, this one can be done in the winter, right?





So, okay. I haven’t done everything on my list, but I did hit a few, and though I am running out of weekend, the next few are busy ones, and there’s still a chance that I can do some of the other things I set out to do.



What have I done? Let’s see here. A quick little cruise through my photo archives tells me a few things:

1. Spent time in the garden, not only starting my veggies and flowers and nurturing them to the thriving greenery they are now, but also visited other gardens, like the Ornamental Garden at the University of Maine.

2. Planned and executed a great 11th birthday party for my daughter with a camping theme, fun games, good food, and fun had by all. Definitely one she and her friends will remember.

3. Spent a day with our good friends, Dean & Karen at Swan Lake. Picnicked, sunbathed, gave my daughter’s surf board a test run, and laughed our butts off.

4. Had quite a few campfires in the fire pit we got, some with friends around, some just the three of us. Lots of s’mores.

5. Ate quite a bit of seafood, from the fried variety to the steamed and dipped in butter, we enjoyed the area’s bounty. I’m expecting more will be consumed in the coming weeks.

6. Did a road trip to Machias, through the blueberry barons, to the UMaine campus there where my husband spent formative years, and to Fort O’Brien for a picnic. I’ve been wanting to go out there for years.

7. Sold old car, bought new car.

8. Had a great vacation – yes, outside of vacationland – but a wonderful time nonetheless. A day in New York City, Broadway, The Lion King, The American Girl Store. Virginia Beach. Roller Coasters, water parks . . .I could go on, and will, in upcoming posts.

9. Ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. Jimmie’s in Brewer, Dairy Queen, Garsides in Saco (best ginger ice cream I know)

10. Created some good memories with my kid, whether it was the two of us singing out loud in the car to the Zac Brown Band’s “Toes” or seeing her face after she rode Apollo’s Chariot for the first time or laughing hysterically in the theatre during intermission.

Summer might be coming to the end as far as the hot weather, no homework, free and easy part of it may be concerned, but what we’ve done so far is enough to carry me on through for some time. I vow to try my hardest to live in the moment and enjoy the good things about summer in Maine, or about summer in general. I will appreciate these little things:

1. summer dresses and the ease of summer dressing

2. the smell of basil, rosemary, and tomatoes on my hands after stroking them in the garden.

3. sitting at a picnic table with my favorite people on earth eating an egg salad salad sandwich, a bag of salt & vinegar chips, and a whoopee pie for dessert.

4. ice cream dripping over the cone on a steamy night

5. those snappy red hot dogs

6. flip flops, open windows, the smell of sunscreen, the sound of crickets

7. running in my neighborhood in the morning before work

8. staying outside late, the smell of barbeque, the lack of seriousness

9. the quiet of the University campus during summer break, no traffic, plenty of parking

10. no shivering, no shoveling, no scraping, no scarves, mittens, or long johns, no early sunsets, no portable heaters, no slipping or sliding just to get into the house, and no frozen anything except freeze pops and ice cream.

This morning I actually heard some one say “hey, four more months and we’ll be snowmobiling!”

Enjoy your summer!!!

Recovery topic: Finding Balance

A busy weekend behind me, I look forward into the week spread before me. My date book tells me that I’ve got an appointment with my chiropractor on Wednesday and I’ve got to take my daughter to her guitar and singing lessons. Not much scheduled. Pretty easy week.




My to-do list, however, tells a different story.



Rarely do I find resolution or closure there. It never ends. There is always more to do. You might note that my Friday blog entry, where I have been writing about travel in the state of Maine, and look forward to doing so, never got written. It was on the list. The pies I wanted to make on Saturday didn’t get made. The photos I need to take for some cards didn’t get taken. The laundry’s not folded and I haven’t finished writing the story I want to submit to a writing contest, deadline last Saturday.

I wonder daily how to do what needs to get done in the small hours I have each day.



When I got into recovery, I thought that it would solve all of my problems. Bit by bit, many of my troubles disappeared. Now, a few years into sobriety, most of the bad stuff has gone away, either resolved by my perseverance or time itself. When it comes down to it, things are pretty good.



But how to find balance? This is a question I hear from many women, in recovery or not. How do you find the time to do what is required of you, whether that requirement is self imposed or demanded by others? How do you live life on life’s terms?



Maybe there’s something in those AA expressions. Take it easy. Live and let live. Easy does it. Let go Let God. Maybe those who have gone before me have found that if I allow myself to become discouraged and disillusioned, I will be more easily led to a drink. Maybe balance is more easily achieved with less on each spinning plate.

Perhaps I should think about what I did accomplish on the to-do list. Blogged 4 out of 5 days. Took Nola shopping for her friend’s birthday party gift. Shot photos for the 365 project I’m doing. Coordinated the prints and cards order I needed. Planted spinach, lettuce, and broccoli, daylilies and tiger lilies.



In looking back over how I spent the last week, there are things that never make the list. As far as accomplishments go, they are some of the most important. Spent some time with my husband. Enjoyed steaks and laughs with some friends. Snuggled on the couch watching American Idol with my daughter.

These things just don’t get scheduled into my life but they make my life complete. They are the reasons I smile everyday. They are the LIFE in life’s terms.



What makes you smile everyday and makes all the other stuff worthwhile? What balances your life?

Still Life?

Why is it that I just can’t sit still? I don’t mean the squirmy kid kind of sitting still. I mean the settling into life and being satisfied with what and who I am kind of still.




Yesterday, while my husband was working and my daughter was visiting her dad, I found myself with something that I’m unaccustomed to having: time for myself. I knew this was coming and had planned to do some things that I had long wanted to do. I was looking forward to a few hours working on my photography, sorting through images to print, put together a portfolio, write a few days worth of blogs, work on a short story I want to submit, finish with a couple of photo contest entries, and maybe actually go out and drop off some work to a retailer or two in hopes of making a sale. You can see that my list was extensive and therefore became somewhat overwhelming. You would think that perhaps I would have been able to accomplish a few items, maybe even start a few more. How much of it did I do? None. Instead I did some shopping for the house and garden, started some slow cooked ribs for dinner, mulched the bed in front of the house, filled the birdfeeders, did all of the dishes, ran 2 miles, and made some guacamole. Most of those things can be done with my husband and kid around. I was supposed to be focusing on the things I can’t do when they’re in the house, the stuff that needs uninterrupted concentration.

I asked myself, in the midst of scooping out avocados, why I was doing such a thing. Why wasn’t I in the office, doing what I claim to love doing? Is it because it’s hard? Is it because after a few non stop days, I was burnt out and really needed to just be making guacamole at that time?



Being quiet and still is extremely difficult when the world streams on. I find it hard to be inactive mentally for even a few moments. The idea of mindfulness is intriguing but I find it a challenge to implement. My mind is constantly racing, checking off and adding to the to-do list. Like the tide, the list ebbs and flows, but doesn’t stop. I am not concerned that my inability to recall each item is a sign of a mental deficiency. I am concerned about its effect on my health, as I tend to carry my stress in my shoulders and neck. To take a few minutes to quietly breathe and think of nothing seems impossible. Perhaps yoga or meditation would be of benefit. How do you calm the mind and spirit?

Capture serenity

How do you capture stress in an image? I know how to capture serenity – the lovely softness of a flower petal, the potential of a path to who knows where, calm pools of ocean embracing tidal creatures. I got that. But where, in my portfolio, can I find a photograph to post here that would represent a stressful day in the life of, well, me?




And why, you might ask, would I want to capture stress in a photograph?

They keep telling me to reduce stress in my life. The doctors and therapists I’ve seen cast that off as the solution, and it probably is, but they don’t offer how to do it. Over the past few months, I’ve been trying to determine the cause of the headaches I had been suffering from on a daily basis for years now. I woke up with pain, jaw aching from clenching my teeth. I must be a lovely site to see first thing in the morning. The mornings at home are probably more rushed than they need to be and I know the solution for it, but can’t seem to make it happen. Even if I got up two hours early, I still would push it to the last minute, finding plenty of other things that need to be done as well as the usual morning stuff. My drive into work is not one of free ways and traffic jams. An occasional delay when my timing parallels that of the school bus isn’t enough to call my commute into question as the cause of my tension. And really, work isn’t that stressful. Sure there are times when things gotta get done and the afternoon is winding down, but I don’t usually take my work home with me, except to vent to my husband, who works for the same organization. I’ve certainly had worse jobs. I don’t dread going into work. My kid is good, well behaved for the most part. I don’t have to worry about her so much. She’s a good, loving, smart kid. Relationships with my husband and parents are solid and enjoyable. So what’s the deal? Why is it that I have to consciously relax my shoulders and neck and rub my temples? After months of exploring the causes of my headaches; I’ve had my eyes and teeth checked, health is good, nothing abnormal there, started chiropractic care to address spinal misalignment which can sometimes cause neck and facial tension, and even had an allergy scan, which incidentally, brought to light the fact that I’m allergic to dust and dust mites. Oh great, something else I have to worry about, cleaning the house.



But my mind races constantly and I need to find a way to quiet things in there. My thoughts flit from the next thing I have to do (finish this sentence) to what I’m having for lunch (leftover fish and asparagus), and oh yeah, I’ve got to call Nola’s school for directions to that thing in a couple of weeks and pay my credit card bills online and email Wanda about dinner Saturday and where the heck are those magnifying lenses I bought last summer? I need to see if I can shoot something for Pioneer Woman’s photo assignment for the week on macros and I’ve got to go to Walmart and pick up those prints, when can I go? It goes on and on. From one thing to another and not all worry and dread at all, as you can see, just activity and perpetually on the hamster wheel of thoughts of my life.

Maybe I just don’t need to find that photograph after all. Maybe what I need to do is to continue to seek out the calm and serene and keep the focus of my lens on those things. Take the advice I’ve been getting and seek out ways to relax. See, I’ve just added something else to the list. . . the endless list of things to do. Find a yoga class. Learn how to meditate. Am I the only one living with such a constant stream of tasks and questions and decisions on the run? I doubt it. I’d love to hear how anyone out there deals with the everyday and how you get to stop and take a look at the big picture before it’s too late. Teach me to remember what’s most important.