Uncover Recovery

Any one who knows me knows that I am usually quite open about my recovery. Joe and I joke about it at home. Comments that begin with “if I was still drinking. . .” whatever it might be, drift around our kitchen when we make dinner. We talk about beer ads and how I would probably love Lime Bud, given my attraction to that particular citrus. I’ve often commented that it’s a good thing that mojitos came into fashion after I quit drinking because that combination – lime and mint – well, some of my favorite flavors – would have been dangerous for me. Around the house and with our friends and families, our alcoholism is fair game for discussion, sarcasm, and reflection. My disease is not a secret.




Why, then, after nearly four years at the same organization, have I been hesitant to tell my coworkers? When I started working at my current day job, I was relatively new in recovery. I disclosed out of necessity that I had been arrested for OUI and noted “continued sobriety” in the comments on my job application. I have told my co workers that I don’t drink, but haven’t really discussed recovery and alcoholism with any of my office mates. I have to ask myself why. Like other areas in my life, my current position requires that I be diligent and focused, honest and responsible. Unlike those other areas in my life, the consequences for missteps affect an institution, not only those in my small circle of life. While I am confident that I am able to fulfill those requirements at my job, I fear that misconceptions about alcoholics will color my coworkers’ opinions. The bottom line is that most people have been affected by alcoholism, and generally not favorably. I worry that people will think that I’m “on the edge” all the time, clinging to sobriety tenuously, rather than firmly entrenched as I feel I am. I don’t want everyone to feel that any discussion that touches on alcohol, whether it be enjoyment of or lamenting over, has to be prefaced with a “sorry, Celeste”, prior to continuing the conversation.



It’s like postal workers. They all get lumped together as a group that is just about to snap, when in reality, that’s not the case. They even coined the term “going postal” to describe a person who just loses it. I don’t want to be lumped into the group of “alcoholics” because most people just don’t understand the disease of addiction. I worry that rather than seeing me as having overcome adversity, I will be viewed as having moral fault, and transactions that I’ve proven that I can handle will be put into question.

The alcoholics I’ve met along the recovery road have been some of the most honest and responsible people I’ve ever encountered. I’m proud to be part of that group. It’s unfortunate that those practicing active alcoholic behavior are part of the image conjured when some one is labeled an alcoholic.



Perhaps I should have faith and give my coworkers the benefit of the doubt. We’re not a group of strangers. I have certainly established my competence. We laugh and joke about our lives and given that being in recovery is a daily part of mine, why not roll it into the fabric of my at-work persona? Maybe someone is struggling with alcoholism and I could help. One of the biggest comforts I found was in knowing that I am not alone. If I could put myself out there as an example to others that people do live happy lives in recovery, then perhaps it might propel another to seek help. If I could save one person, just by being open and honest about my recovery, any uneasiness I may suffer with disclosure is well worth it.