How to keep them safe?

When I found out I was pregnant with Nola, some friends gave me a journal to write in called “Great Expectations: A Mother’s Journey.” It is a beautiful book with heavy pages and black and white photographs of mothers and babies and delicate baby feet, hands, and soft little ears. I wrote in it regularly, beginning each entry with “Dear Baby,” then, once we knew we were having a little girl, “Dear Daughter,”. Eventually her name was chosen and I wrote, for the first time of hundreds, “Dear Nola,” Her father contributed as did her grandparents. It’s a wonderful keepsake of a time in my life that was packed with new experiences and as the title implied, great expectations.




I looked back at the entry from eleven years ago yesterday. It was the day that two students opened fire and killed classmates and teachers in their high school in Columbine, Colorado. It was with fear that I wrote to my little daughter within, and noted my insecurity at being able to protect her from the world.

Somehow, up to this point, I have managed to do so. Nola is a pretty well adjusted kid who tries hard, smiles a lot, and is very loved. She’s got a wicked sense of humor and a fierce independent streak. She is  affectionate, sweet and kind. And relatively innocent.



The boys that made the decision to go into their school and kill other human beings and then to kill themselves did so, they claimed, because they had been bullied. In the past few weeks there has been another story in the news of a girl’s death. From the reports I’ve read, she hanged herself because she was being bullied at school. Bullying today goes beyond face to face taunting like in the movies. It’s via text and Facebook, YouTube and Twitter. It’s worldwide and terrifying. How do I protect Nola from that? I’ve read that the kids that get bullied tend to be the ones with low self esteem, who crave approval from outside sources. If that is, in fact, that case, how do I fortify her self worth?



Our home is a safe environment for a child. We don’t drink, smoke or fight. We support her to the best of our ability, financially and emotionally. We’re her biggest cheerleaders. We eat dinner together on a regular basis and her friends like hanging out at our house. I monitor her computer use and review sites she’s visited. I have access to her Facebook account. I think we’re trying hard to do the right things to ensure her a stable and loving home. What else can we do to allow her to grow into a strong, self confident teen?