In Gretchen Rubin’s bestselling book, The Happiness Project,
the author’s research on the subject of “happiness” leads her to discover
things in her life that with a few small changes, would not only make her
happier, but influence those around her.
She sets about to focus on different aspects of her life
each month and uses a list of her self devised commandments as guidelines. The very first is “Be Gretchen.”
I love this idea.
So how do I “Be Celeste”?
A question of this sort, whether you are Celeste or Jane or
Liz or Gretchen, requires an examination of self. I have to know who “Celeste” is and sometimes
that’s a difficult assignment. The study
of self is as old as human consciousness.
Since the dawn of self awareness the question has been raised. But I don’t need to concern myself with who
found out what about themselves in the history of the world.
I have only one subject:
me.
You have only one subject: you.
Celebrating a birthday is an annual milestone that always
makes me take stock in what I’ve accomplished in the past year and what I hope
to achieve in the coming year.
Accomplishments and achievements are part of what makes me, me. My style of dress, my sense of humor, my
dreams, my home, my tendency to procrastinate, and my desire to perfect the
recipe for guacamole are all me. For
Mother’s Day, my husband and daughter got me a Vera Bradley bag – Reality: I went and picked it out – limey green and
aqua flowery swirly and I love it. When
I showed it to a friend, she said “it’s Celeste”. I took it as a compliment. But was it?
But what is, and who is, and how do I – how does anyone –
determine what is you?
I think Ms. Rubin’s point was that when it comes down to it,
be true to you. Remember who you are and
what makes you happy each day. Those
points will change daily and look totally different for each person. Don't force yourself into a shape that doesn't fit you. Accept that you just don't like everything you think you should. Trying to be someone that you're not is a key ingredient in dissatisfaction.
There are things in my life that I really wish I enjoyed;
I wish I liked sports, so that I could have this common
interest with my husband, but really, I don’t like sports. Forcing myself to sit and pay attention to
some ongoing commentary about something that I don't care about goes against my nature.
If I recognize that and not feel badly about it, I will be a happier
person.
My daughter loves sushi.
I’m an adventurous diner and have tried it on many occasions and I just
don’t like it. I wish I did. I think the artistry and the culture of sushi
is very cool and I would love to claim that as something I enjoy, but I
don’t. Be Celeste.
Trying to be someone I’m not will lead me to resentment and
frustration. That’s not a place I want
to be. I have to be Celeste. Just because I truly don’t enjoy some things
doesn’t make me less of a person. In
fact, it leaves room for other interests that I do enjoy, like writing and
photography, cooking and eating, collage, cool earrings, pink flamingoes,
seltzer with lime, exploring new places, hot summer days, the smell of fresh
basil, peppermint and coconut, cat’s paws, Jimmy Buffett music, sleeping late
and reading a good book.
Maybe we’d all be happier if we recognized that as
individuals living in this time, in this place, we have tastes and expectations
that differ from other people’s and embrace the differences rather than try to
change ourselves or fight about them.
If you like the idea of examining what makes you happy, I
recommend reading Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project”.
More info can be found here:
http://www.happinessprojecttoolbox.com/
. . . if you like that
sort of thing.
