The first book I ever read that related at all to recovery, one which I recently re-read just because I loved it so and am a huge fan of the author is Augusten Burrough’s Dry. After I read the AA big book, early on in my recovery, this was recommended to me. You might be a bit familiar with the author’s memoir of his demented and dysfunctional childhood, which was made into a movie of the same name, Running with Scissors. In Dry, Burroughs tells of the depths of his alcoholism, reluctant recovery, and continued sobriety. His humor and sarcasm throughout is what really drew me into this book. I felt a relief in reading this book although it was uncomfortable in places, in finding that I could still laugh. I’ve read every other book Augusten Burroughs has read and just love him so this was an easy pick for me in listing recovery reading. I met him at a lecture when I was 5 months sober. I was nearly star struck as he signed the pile of books I brought in. He commented on my recovery, saying “it makes a big difference doesn’t it?” How little I knew then about how different my life would be. Here’s a link to Mr. Burrough’s website http://www.augusten.com/site/dry.
Drinking: A Love Story, by Caroline Knapp was an amazing discovery for me this year. Stumbling across it in one of those Amazon recommended lists, I devoured it in a few days, completely ignoring my family, actually spending time laying on the couch to read while I have plenty of other things to do. I couldn’t stop. It seemed that finally I had found a woman who would write about the obsession and misunderstanding. I could relate to how she brought alcohol with her to visit people because there would never be enough. How she would eye the bottle of wine at dinner, thinking about how it would have to be split with the others at the table. How her glass always seemed to be the first one emptied. Her writing style is literary perfection. Sentences and details strung together into paragraphs that once completed, I reread just for their beauty. I wanted to dash off a letter to her, claiming my love and devotion, and found that Caroline Knapp passed away in 2002, at age 42, due to complications of lung cancer. If you’re a woman in or out or on the verge of recovery, read this book!
Mommy Doesn’t Drink Here Anymore: Getting through the first year of sobriety by Rachael Brownwell was a powerful story of motherhood and alcoholism, how they affect and unravel one another, and how to hang on until they again merge and make sense. She writes about some of the same feelings I recall as a young mother and an active alcoholic. Visiting the park for the 5th consecutive day with a toddler IS more fun with a tumbler of vodka and lemonade in hand. Watching kids play outside in the yard day after day, with little adult interaction, except from the husband that you’re not so sure you even like anymore seemed so much more tolerable knowing I had jugs and jugs of wine in the house that I could dash in for and make the sun shine a bit brighter. Rachael Brownwell’s book brought it all back for me, but in a way that was extremely relatable. She also touches on the feelings associated with the loss of freedom that comes with motherhood, loss of self, of creativity, of youth, of individuality. I passed it on to my counselor as suggested reading for any woman battling addiction and parenthood simultaneously. A combination that is rarely discussed, alcoholic mothers are the bane of society, so it seems when you’re one of them. Moms are supposed to be the sane ones, holding the whole thing together, right. Read Rachael Brownwell’s book if you know anyone in their first year of sobriety. The stories about the meetings she attended early on are quite funny and tell what it really is like at a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. A side note: AA itself was anonymous in the book. The author chose to detail the meetings and her experiences in them, but did not disclose specifically that they were AA meetings, in accordance with the anonymity of the program. Recommend this book to every Mom you see in the park with a tumbler in her hand. Here’s a link to Rachael’s website: http://rachaelbrownell.com//
Lit by Mary Karr is currently on my nightstand. Don’t tell me how it ends, but if you haven’t read it, I encourage you to pick it up and get started. It was a little slow for me at the onset, but I have since been sucked in. She’s funny and sarcastic, paragraphs to consume and enjoy, little details coming through to make huge statements. When she wrote about sitting outside on the fire escape, drink in hand, while her son slept inside, I knew I liked her. Her honesty in her skepticism about recovery and her struggles facing success sober is heartbreakingly vivid. She picks fights. She promises no more, but then just one, then she’s searching the house for any remnants of a bottle. This book is very funny about a very serious subject. I’m loving it and don’t want it to end.
My reading pattern is a roller coaster of serious recovery reading, then on to something a little lighter, like a good novel, toss in a bit of travel writing, a little self-help motivation or meditation and just for the fun of it, something in the direction of feng shui or past life regression. I have read many good and not so good books over the years and appreciate a book that takes me somewhere. All of the above mentioned books do that, but on the topic of recovery, and in different ways. All are worth your search at the bookstore or online.
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