Maine Travel: Just another friday night in Old Orchard Beach

Friday night I was driving to my parent’s house in Biddeford, Maine. I had a two and a half hour drive and listened to public radio most of the way. Nearing Portland, I put in a cd and found myself cruising through the city tapping the steering wheel along to the Zac Brown band’s “Toes” – got my toes in the water, ass in the sand . . . not a worry in the world . . .” and it put me in the “Life’s too short” mindset for the rest of the trip. I decided that I would swoop in and pick up Nola and take her “down the beach” that night. It was a gorgeous early summer night, warm, with a light breeze. I knew about the Spirit of America Balloon Festival that was going on over the weekend.

“Down the beach” is the local lingo for going to Old Orchard Beach. When you live in the area, you pretty much stay away from OOB (another local description) during the summer. For us kids, it was a once a year thing. Go down the beach, walk around, go out on the pier for some “Pier Fries”, ride a few rides, play a game or two and be done with it. As a teen, going to OOB was a thing you tried to do Friday nights, as a group of girls to go chase down the boys. In college, it was a source of employment for me and a few other local kids. I sold music in a little walk up booth right on the street. I think I made $200 a week managing the place for its owner who lived in New Hampshire. I have good memories of working down there. I even met my first husband there. He and a bunch of college students from Canada had come to work for the summer.

Old Orchard Beach is a community of about 9,000 year round residents, according to their website. The part I’m talking about is the main drag as they say, Old Orchard Ave and East Grand and West Grand Avenues branching off in their respective directions parallel to the beachfront. The amusement park is right on the beachfront. Lights flashing, bells ringing, kiddie rides, bumper cars, roller coaster, and games galore. It is quite the place.



We went straight out on the beach to check out the balloons. A live band was playing in the square and booths were set up selling balloon memorabilia. At sunset, a “Moon Glow” was scheduled. We went out to join the crowd watching the balloon crews, waiting for inflation. After a while we walked through Palace Playland, winding around the kiddie rides and game hawkers. My daughter rode the roller coaster there. One of the nice things about Palace Playland is that you can buy tickets for rides individually. It’s not necessary to buy a whole day pass. It certainly is more economical to do so, but if you’re there for a couple of hours, it’s nice to be able to just do a ride or two, eat some cotton candy, and while away an evening.

We got some Pier Fries (vinegar and salt please!) and went back out on the beach. There was a light breeze and though it felt nice and warm, it was enough to keep the balloons from going up. They stayed grounded and we played in the sand near the Pier with a full moon over the water. Later we went up on the Pier for some kettle corn and an awesome fresh, gooey, caramel apple rolled in coconut. We walked up the street one side and down the other. I showed Nola whereabouts I met her father. The building is long gone, overgrown with brush and empty. Stores there are still selling some of the same things they did 25 years ago; T shirts and sweatshirts and just about anything else that you can decal with Old Orchard Beach. Bikinis. Beach mats. Sunglasses. All the same stuff in stores bright and lit up to attract customers.

To me, its fun once in a while to be in the midst of that carnival madness. It was a beautiful night spent with my daughter at a place we rarely visit, mainly because of its proximity. Places in your backyard are seldom appreciated as much as those far away. Sometimes it’s good to make that little connection with the past and create some memories to share in the future.

If you’re in southern Maine at any time, it’s worth a trip to Old Orchard Beach. The beach itself is sandy, wide and a great place to park for a day. It’s a bonus to have all of that fun stuff a few steps away.



Here’s their website: http://www.oobmaine.com/

Recovery Topic: For Sale – The wreckage of my past

That’s an expression they use; the wreckage of my past. It’s the trail of bodies you leave behind you when you move into recovery. Quitting drinking is just the beginning. Next the hard part begins. This is when you clean up the mess you’ve made. It takes a lot of work to become responsible for your behavior and begin to pay your debts, financial as well as social, emotional, and physical. For me, it seemed like I would never dig out of the bills I had neglected for so long. I felt like I was constantly being reminded of the negative affects of my drinking. Sometimes I felt like throwing up my hands and giving up. In hindsight, I’ve accomplished a lot in taking care of those things. Along the way, much has changed for me. From a feng shui perspective, I feel better not being reminded of the negatives. Psychologically, there is benefit in living in a positive nurturing environment, free of the “wreckage of my past.”




But there are things that I’ve clung to.

We’ve sold my thirteen year old Nissan Pathfinder. I love that car. I will miss it. See that? That’s where I rear ended someone and got an OUI some six years ago now. And over there, that dent? A year and a half has gone by now since that happened and each time I think about it, I try to get a little more “life is short” into me. It was frigid cold, but sunny winter day in January 2009. I had just dropped Nola off and was late for work, taking a road that I hate taking, getting stuck behind people going really slow and driving up my aggravation. I passed a car, then another. The road crowns to allow for runoff and the ice had become pitted and grooved. The sun was melting that top layer and it became really slick. I crested a hill and before I knew what was really happening, I was spinning and traveling down the hill, in the opposite lane, backwards. Whoosh! A relatively soft rear end landing in a snow bank, but when I managed to get out of the car, I found that not only had I taken out a mailbox, I had come within inches of hitting a woman who was shoveling the end of her driveway while waiting for the bus to come for her grandson, who stood just a few feet behind her. She showed me her footprint in the snow where she had stood. Two or three inches away: my tire tracks. I could have killed her. I could have crippled her. Thankfully, I only dented the fenders and plowed down her mailbox. My insurance covered the cost of the mailbox and post, and we did the best we could to have the fender repaired enough to get it through inspection for another year. Each time I think about that accident, I think about how close it was and I shiver with that feeling of “what if . . “

When I became the owner of that car, my life was incredibly different. I was married to a man who I believe had been having an affair, if not of a physical nature, surely an emotional one. Not that I had been entirely faithful during our marriage, but when we bought that car together, trading in another one, it was a renewed commitment to each other as well. We became the owners of it in early 1998, buying it new off the lot from the dealer, with an odometer reading of 1. That year, 1998, would prove pivotal for us, first discovering we were expecting a baby, then losing that baby. He rushed me to the hospital for emergency surgery to remove the life trapped in my right fallopian tube. The seats reclined to offer comfort on the way home to recover. Back and forth to the health center we drove in that car as we learned about and pursued fertility treatment, then the trip to have eggs removed and another trip to transplant the embryos. Again we had the reclining seat on the way home, as it was advised to be as still as possible for the days afterwards. I recall staring through the windshield of that car at the sign that my husband and father had posted on the garage door for me, my sisters, and mother when we returned from our annual shopping trip to Freeport the day after thanksgiving: Welcome home Mommy. The hospital had called with the pregnancy test results and that day I found out I was pregnant. I was driven in that car to the hospital near midnight on August 1st, 1999. Our daughter had her first car ride in that car, home from the hospital. I sat in the back seat with her. Many rides she would have in that car. Many drinks spilled and snacks dropped. We had six dogs in that car when we moved to Maine. Their wirey hair still sticks to the back of the seats. We were so optimistic then, moving back to Maine with our infant daughter, close to my parents and family, starting up a new business in a new town. I took many long drives by the ocean in attempts to get away as the business strained our marriage. I parked at the beaches and looked out over the waves. I started driving around with a tumbler full of wine or vodka and lemonade. I did a lot of drunk driving in that car. I have to admit that. I was fortunate that I had only one OUI, after rear ending someone. See the front fender and grill? That’s where I hit the other car. I never got it fixed, didn’t report it to the insurance company. At that point in my life, things were spiraling out of control and continued to get worse. A few months after that accident, I lost my license for a year. The car sat parked for the whole time. It was neglected while I neglected myself. When I started driving that car again, I was stuck in a pattern of sobriety and relapse. I drove that car to pick up my daughter on the day I hit my bottom. I drove drunk to pick up my daughter at school and wasn’t allowed to take her, thankfully. The car stayed at her school until I was released from the hospital. I took a cab to pick it up, late in the night. I drove to the hotel I was staying at and called Joe. I called to surrender. I called to say I couldn’t do it alone and needed help. The next day, he drove the two and a half hours to come get me. We drove to Bangor and I moved in with him. That car has been parked next to his ever since.



Over the past 4 ½ years since then, that car has been cleaned and cared for. It got serviced when it was supposed to and fixed when it needed to. It carried groceries home, my daughter to school, and yard debris to the dump. It carried a lot of our belongings from the apartment we rented to the house we bought. It was my guardian on snowy days, trying to get home from work, biting down in four wheel drive and keeping me on the road.

In many ways, the life of that vehicle parallels my own. The good times and the bad times. The memories of my life in the past thirteen years show that car parked in the background, often waiting to take me to the next place. Short trips, long trips, big moves and small ones. Selling it is like selling some of my history. My recovery needs to move forward and change is a good thing. The dents and burns and dings reminded me on a daily basis of mistakes I made. Sometimes it is good to be reminded and other times it casts a negative shadow over your accomplishments.



So, as I drove it last night, to meet the couple who bought it, these thoughts passed through my consciousness. The last time I grip the wheel, the last time I close the window and turn off the radio, the last time of so many that I close the rear gate and lock the door. Now this young family can take the car. We heard them squeal with excitement. Their baby slept in the car seat as they signed the bill of sale and handed me a check. I hope that they treat my car well and vice versa. I hope they have good experiences and create happy memories on the road. Let it move them and take them places they’ve never been. Let them wash and wax and care for it. Let their son spill his juice on the back seat and lose goldfish under the mats.



Give them all new life. Drive on. Don’t forget the past but look to the future.

50 MORE Things to do in Maine

Emily Burnham, writer for the Bangor Daily News, came up with a great list of 50 Things to Do in Maine This Summer. Here’s a link to her list: http://www.bangordailynews.com/detail/145829.html.




After reading it and taking some notes of things to add to my own summer calendar, like going to the Whoopie Pie festival in Dover-Foxcroft on June 26th and checking out Thai Chili ice cream at Mount Desert Island Ice Cream, I got to thinking about how I could add to Emily’s list.



Could I come up with ANOTHER 50 Things to Do in Maine This Summer? Here’s my attempt



FESTIVALS



1. Strawberry festival – South Berwick – http://southberwickstrawberryfestival.com/default.aspx Saturday, June 26th. Food, crafts, strawberries, of course. Features a bake-off, juried craft show with over 120 artisans, and entertainment. This festival is always the last Saturday in June, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Central School grounds across from Town Hall. Phone (207) 384-2882 for details.

2. Canoe Hullabaloo Celebration – Old Town June 18th & 10th. N. Main Street, Old Town 207-827-8744 or http://www.rivercoalition.org/canoe_hullabaloo Nightly entertainment, canoe races, road races, canoe regatta.

3. Windjammer Days – Boothbay Harbor - http://www.chambermaster.com/directory/jsp/events/EventPage.jsp?ccid=538&eventid=3003. June 22nd & 23rd 48th Annual Windjammer Days in Boothbay Harbor. Enjoy fully rigged windjammers sail into Boothbay Harbor. Two days of family fun, pancake breakfasts, waterfront concerts, art & craft fair, hometown street parade, antique boat parade and fireworks over the harbor! Great fun for all!

4. Lupine Festival – Deer Isle - 9th annual celebration of Island springtime: garden tours, local foods supper, open studios, boat-plane-schooner trips, quilt show, craft fair, kids activities.  Deer Isle-Stonington Chamber of Commerce – 348-6124

5. La Kermesse Franco Americaine Festival – http://www.lakermessefestival.com/ Jun 24 thru Jun 27, 2010. Starts with a block party and goes on with events on Friday (parade, dining and entertainment) through Sunday. Held at St. Louis Field on West Street between Prospect and Hill Streets

6. Great Falls Balloon Festival – August 20th - Auburn info at http://www.greatfallsballoonfestival.org/ This is a big one, stretching over 3 days.  Includes a photo contest and crafts and games.  Food vendors are local area organizations. 



7. Saco Spirit Sidewalk Art Festival – June 26th Jun 26, 2010. Over 100 artists and craftsmen will line Main Street and Pepperell Square during the Saco Spirit Sidewalk Art Festival, transforming downtown Saco into a giant art gallery from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. For 40 years artist have traveled from all over New England and beyond to participate in what has become for many exhibitors one of their favorite festivals of the year.

8. Moxie Festival – yes, you heard right. Held July 9th – 11th in Downtown Lisbon Falls. More info at http://www.moxiefestival.com/

9. Maine International Film Festival – July 9th – 18th, Waterville. More info at http://www.miff.org/

10. 4th of July Celebrations: all over the state. Check local listings. Old Orchard Beach, Portland’s Eastern Promenade, Bangor. Day and time varies.

11. Yarmouth Clam Festival – July 16, 17, 18th in Yarmouth. More info at http://www.clamfestival.com/home.php lots of food, not just clams, great crafts set up, games and challenges. 

12. Bangor State Fair – July 30th – August 8th in Bangor. Schedule of events and more info at http://www.bangorstatefair.com/ longest continually running agricultural fair.  Over a week long event, there are rides, lots of games, food from everywhere, stadium shows, a photo contest, stage shows. It's a blast. 

13. Schoodic Arts Festival- Aug 02 thru Aug 15, 2010. A two week celebration of arts and culture, including 65 workshops, 26 evening performances, free brown bag lunchtime performances, an art show, a silent auction, and much, much more. Most events occur at Hammond Hall. Phone (207) 963-2569 for details or visit http://schoodicarts.org/festival/festival-information



14. Maine Lobster Festival – this is a big one in Maine – held in Rockland Aug 04 thru Aug 08, 2010. The Maine Lobster Festival is one of New England's great summer events. Tons of steamed Maine lobsters, waterfront activities, maritime displays, Maine arts, naval vessels, harbor cruises, entertainment and a parade. For info phone (207) 596-0376 or (800) LOB-CLAW.

15. Machias Wild Blueberry Festival - Aug 20 thru Aug 22, 2010. This is the 34th Annual Machias Wild Blueberry Festival. The Downeast region of Maine produces some 85% of the world's blueberries. The festival features baking and pie eating contests, over 200 craft booths, foot races, a blueberry musical comedy and a variety of musical entertainment. For info phone (207) 255-6665 http://www.machiasblueberry.com/

16. Camden Windjammer Festival – Camden Harbor http://www.camdenwindjammerfestival.com/. You can tour some of the ships in the harbor. There’s a build-a-boat race after teams have constructed their boats on site. There’s food and dancing in the streets. And it all takes place Labor Day weekend. Great way to wrap up the summer.



AMUSE YOURSELF

17. Seacoast Fun Parks – one in Trenton and one in Windham. http://www.seacoastfunparks.com/ Go Karts, Climbing wall, mini golf, Windham has a slingshot trampoline and a giant sky swing. Trenton’s got waterslides and a water wars set up to blast each other.

18. Funtown USA – Saco, Maine http://www.funtownsplashtownusa.com// - this is a nice amusement park to visit. You know I am a big fan of big roller coasters, but this park holds a special place for me because it was where I had my first job as a teen.

19. York Wild Kingdom - York - http://www.yorkzoo.com/ Fun as a kid, fun with your kid.  Check out York Beach while you're in the area.

20. - Aquaboggen Waterslide – Saco, Maine - http://www.aquabogganwaterpark.com/ another park on my resume, this one is the original waterslide in Maine and has expanded tremendously over the years. Prices are really reasonable.

21. Palace Playland, Old Orchard Beach – http://www.palaceplayland.com/ – claims to be the only beachfront amusement park in New England and I can’t argue with them. While you’re there, eat Pier Fries and caramel corn. Take a walk on the pier. It’s hokey and fun. The rides include a small roller coaster, giant swing, classic carousel, and a Ferris wheel that offers awesome views of the beach. The best part is that it’s free admission. You just pay for the rides you go on and don’t have to buy a day pass to just walk around and do a couple of rides or play games. Great people watching, too.

22. Mini golf – lots of places around the state. Really too many to list, but I found a directory online www.miniaturegolfer.com/maine_miniature_golf_courses.html



EAT AND SHOP

23. The Big Chicken Barn – you read that right. Antiques shopping in an old chicken barn. http://www.bigchickenbarn.com/.

24. Marden’s Salvage - http://www.mardens.com/ - if you happen to be near a Marden’s and you have time to shop, you’ve got to check it out. You can find great deals on things you didn’t know you needed. Great for seasonal decorations, garden stuff, flooring, and truckload sales of things like brand name pottery, women’s clothing, fishing and camping gear and golf equipment. Loads of fun to browse. We even saw a full sized disco ball there once . . should have bought it when we saw it.

25. Strawberry picking – a June tradition. Try Lavigne’s Strawberry Farm in Sanford. http://www.pickyourown.org/ lists farms around Maine.

26. Blueberry picking – late July and August – http://www.pickyourown.org./ I went to Blueberry Hill Farm in Acton a few years ago and picked gallons of berries in a short time. They’re high bush berries so they’re easy to pick.

27. Open Farm day – this year it’s July 25th. Farms around the state open their barns, lay out samples of their products, and give hay rides. www.getrealmaine.com/

28. The Clambake – Scarborough - http://www.clambakerestaurant.com/ – I know there are lots of places to get fried seafood, but I’ve been going to the Clambake as long as I can remember. Portions are huge, especially in the off season, and prices are reasonable. The Captain’s and Mates plates are big enough to share. You can sit in one of the giant dining rooms or out on the glassed in porch. On our last visit, an egret stood in the marsh and ate while we did. Save your leftovers to feed the seagulls outside. They wait to swoop in when people walk out with food.

29. Garside’s Ice Cream – Saco – my favorite ice cream place of my childhood. Try the ginger ice cream. Peppermint is fabulous, too. I have sweet memories of black raspberry cones.

30. Big G’s in Winslow has these giant amazing sandwiches. The bread is soft and the fillings are incredibly generous. The whoopee pies are the size of whoopee cushions. http://www.big-g-s-deli.com/

31. GUNS, WEDDING GOWNS, COLD BEER. While you’re in that neck of the woods, just stop in and check out Hussey’s General Store in Windsor. http://www.husseysgeneralstore.com/

32. Governor’s Restaurants are famous statewide. You’ve got to check out the desserts. The Old Town location is the original and has a neat miniature train track that runs through the dining rooms. June is their anniversary and they’ve got great specials going on through the end of the month. http://governorsrestaurant.com/

33. Pat’s Pizza – http://www.patspizza.com/ – 13 locations in the state, with the original in Orono. All I’ve got to say about the pizzas: It’s the sauce. It’s amazing.



SWIM & PLAY

34. Bunganut Lake State Park in Lyman/Alfred has a nice playground, parking, and the water is clear and sandy bottomed. Great place for taking the kids

35. I almost don’t want to divulge this one. My family has been going to this pond for generations. Long Pond in Parsonsfield. No web site. Search for it on a map in that area. The Road Between the Ponds (yes, that’s really the name) has a small beach area through the woods. The pond is shallow and sandy. Great for family fun. Clean and sandy.

36. Mousam Lake in Acton. There’s a small public beach, but it’s a great place to rent a cottage for a week. Lots of activity on the lake: boating, waterskiing, etc.

37. In the Bangor area, take the family to the Beth Pancoe Pool right next door to the Mansfield Stadium. Believe it or not, this public pool has two multi story waterslides, a zero entry kiddie area complete with things that dump and spray. There’s a grassy area if you want to bring your blanket, chairs and a picnic. There’s a playground just outside and beware, the ice cream truck idles outside on hot days.

38. University of Maine Campus Recreation Center welcomes guests from the community at a daily rate of $7.00. The pool is indoors and is well suited for family fun. there are two lap lanes, an open recreation area, a twenty something person hot tub, and shallow play area with fountains to splash in and my personal favorite, a circular vortex pool (that’s right, continuously whirling water). A blast on a rainy day or when the sun shines too brightly for tender skin. www.umaine.edu/campusrecreation/facilities/recreationcenter.html

39. Mother’s Beach, Kennebunk – we have so many awesome beaches in this state, but this is a good one for families. It’s a small beach. It’s locally known as Mother’s Beach but the real name is Kennebunk Beach. It’s the southernmost beach in Kennebunk. Follow Beach Street until you reach the small parking lot on the ocean side. There is a playground just steps away, thus the name “Mother’s Beach” as it makes a great place to take the kids for the day. Low tide exposes rocks to climb and tide pools to explore.

40. Fortune’s Rocks Beach, Biddeford- the name comes from the millions of smooth beach rocks that are deposited on this beach. At low tide the beach is wide and flat. Tidal pools and seagulls make it a quintessential Maine beach experience. Off of route 9 in Biddeford.

41. Sand Beach, Acadia National Park, Mt. Desert Island – it’s worth it to pay the entry fee to the park, but get there early for good parking. There are bathrooms and changing rooms. Steps lead you down to the beach from the parking area to a soft sandy beach. Spend the day and enjoy the views of Acadia and Great Head.

42. Macworth Island – Falmouth – there’s a nature trail that wraps around the island with a couple of places you can get down to the beach. Views of Casco Bay. There’s a fairy garden to contribute to if you’re so inclined. Gather things along the path like pine cones and shells. Follow the signs for the Baxter School for the Deaf from Route 1. www.trails.org/map_files/mackworth_page_description.html

43. Scarborough Marsh canoe rental – Scarborough - www.maineaudubon.org/explore/centers/marsh. You can rent a canoe or kayak and paddle around the marsh. Take a tour or do a self guided one and learn about this important part of Maine’s ecosystem.

44. Biking the carriage trails at Acadia is one of my favorite experiences. Forty five miles of groomed, broken stone roads that are free of vehicle traffic. www.nps.gov/acad/historyculture/historiccarriageroads.htm. You’ll be able to find a route that will be suitable for all ages and abilities. You can circle around Eagle Lake, head over to Jordon Pond for lunch, make your way up Day Mountain and enjoy the long coasting ride down. Many places to picnic.

45. Try walking on peat bogs. Well, not ON them, on the boardwalks built over them. In Saco, the Saco Heath www.sacobaytrails.org/sacoheath.shtml and http://celestecota.blogspot.com/2010/04/saco-heath.html Also check out the Orono Bogwalk, part of the Bangor City Forest http://www.oronobogwalk.org//. Very cool afternoon stroll.



OTHER DIVERSIONS

46. Feel like getting high? Ok, not that kind . . . check out the glider rides offered by Acadia Air Tours http://acadiaairtours.com/. You can take a ride over Bar Harbor, Cadillac Mountain, or the Beehive. My husband took me up over Bar Harbor when we were first dating and it was amazing. Bring your camera.

47. Dive In Theatre – Diver Ed http://divered.com/ You take a boat ride out into Frenchman Bay in Bar Harbor. Ed dons scuba tank, video and sound equipment and heads into the bay, showing you the creatures that live at the bottom of the bay. Captain Evil (nice name) stays topside to narrate the tour. They have a touch tank where you can check out the sea life they bring up before it gets returned to the sea. It’s a two hour adventure that the kids (and you) will love.

48. Searsport Flea Markets – Route 1 in Searsport – lots of free fun to check out the stuff they have for sale. You can paw through records, lunchboxes, bottles, things you haven’t seen since childhood, and things you’ll wonder “why?”

49. Perry’s Nut House – Belfast - http://www.perrysnuthouse.com/. As long as I can remember, this has been a fun stop. The fudge. The candy. The nuts, of course. The funhouse mirrors and wacky stuff they have there are worth the stop.

50. Saco Drive In – Saco – Route 1 – Been to a drive in lately? The Saco Drive in runs current movies. There’s a comment on their Facebook page about parents taking their kids to the drive in in their pajamas. My parents did that, too! It was fun then and still is. Their burgers are good and greasy, like drive in food should be.

Wow. I did it. We’ve got a lot to do here in Maine. If you live here, get out and enjoy what’s in your backyard. If you’re visiting, have fun deciding what you’re going to do because you have a lot of choices!





General Information and the source for some of the information provided here comes from these websites. Personal experience has been added.



http://www.maine.info/events/festivals



http://www.visitmaine.com/

Getting Married in Maine

At Joseph's By The Sea in Old Orchard Beach

A year ago I was deep into wedding planning and execution. This coming Sunday, the 20th, is our 1st anniversary. This was a second wedding for both of us and a very laidback affair it was. We had become engaged nearly a year prior to our wedding, while visiting family in Virginia. At that point, we had not really even discussed marriage. I assumed he was content with living together as we were and that was it. I was taken by surprise when he proposed, making me laugh and say yes at the same time.

So from engagement day on, my mind raced with wedding ideas. Our budget, we determined, was a small one. I soon found out that what we thought would be a simple little wedding would cost more than we expected, and we looked for ways to cut back. Not that we didn’t consider the day important enough to invest in, neither one of us felt that we needed to go into debt to have a nice wedding. I began researching venues, flowers, dresses, caterers, and music. Soon overwhelmed, I realized that things have certainly changed since my first wedding, when we could put it together in a few months.

Yes, lots of things have changed in twenty years. The technological impact on wedding planning has transformed the way everything is done, including wedding planning. There are thousands of websites just waiting for you to search for “wedding . . .” anything.



In reality, though email exchanges and online menu selections certainly helped in making decisions quickly, coordinating a wedding still requires that you be there. Not only at the wedding itself, but you do have to go try on a dress and walk through the ceremony site and taste test the food that you might be serving your guests. I guess that’s the fun part of wedding planning.

Southern Maine Community College's event facility

At first we were unsure about whether to get married in southern Maine, where my family lives, or where we live, in the Bangor area. We researched both parts of the state for budget venues and menus, and decided to get married in the Ornamental Garden at the University of Maine in Orono, with our reception held afterwards at the Wells Conference Center on campus. The garden was stunning on that rainy day in June and the folks at Wells really did up the southern style barbeque just right.

All of that research left me with a wealth of information for anyone planning a wedding in Maine. First, check out Maine Wedding Association’s website for one of their upcoming bridal shows. You can find them at http://www.maineweddingassociation.com/. Go to a bridal show if you can. If you can’t go to a show then get your name on the mailing list. Enter your name for the door prize.  You might not win, but you will be inundated with email, mail, and phone calls about your wedding.  Next pick up a copy of Real Maine Weddings or read their publication online. http://realmaineweddings.com/. Those two sources will give you a sense of the trends in the state as well as provide links to more vendors that cater to wedding service than you ever knew existed. Another site, geared more toward downeast and the Camden area is Downeast weddings at http://www.weddingsdowneast.com/maine. As soon as you put “engaged” on your Facebook status, more information will be presented to you in the form of Facebook ads, whether you like them or not.

If you’re planning a wedding on a budget in Maine, here are a few venues to consider:

• Southern Maine Community College: SMCC’s South Portland campus is adjacent to the Spring Point Light house, Fort Preble, and Willard Beach. The setting is gorgeous. Culinary Arts is part of the curriculum. The McKernan Hospitality House has a dining room with wonderful Casco Bay views. Here’s a link to their site: http://smccme.edu/business-community/conferences-special-events/. They offer wedding packages for on site ceremonies and receptions. They have a cute little chapel on the campus, too.

• The Lucerne Inn: Beautiful setting, especially in the fall.  Offers options like discounts on Friday and Sunday weddings.  You can also arrange to have a small reception in conjuntion with the fabulous Sunday Buffet.  You have a private room, but the guests serve themselves from the buffet. 
http://www.lucerneinn.com/

• Joseph’s By the Sea: in Old Orchard Beach, the restaurant is on the ocean and offers a wonderful space for your wedding ceremony with a backdrop of the beach. You can have your reception on the lawn, under a canopy, or inside in their upstairs banquet room. http://www.josephsbythesea.com//

• Vesper Hill Children’s Chapel in Rockport: beautiful little chapel in a lush garden. Consider making reservations far in advance. Very popular mid coast spot. Many area restaurants are available for your reception. http://www.steppinoutmaine.com/archives/2004/aug_11/offpath.html

• Lyle Littlefield Ornamental Gardens, University of Maine, Orono: http://www.umaine.edu/lhc/ornamental.htm. Stunning gardens with pavilion. Reserve for the day

The Lucerne Inn, Dedham

I’ll list a few others that you can find if you search

• Cascade Park – Bangor – lots of weddings in summer. Gazebo, fountain, bridge.

• Mt Battie tower – views of Camden Harbor, stone tower

• Mt Agamenticus – views of mountains, ocean, has a function building available to rent.

This photo by Amanda Prouty

The final tally in our “low budget” Maine wedding:



Wedding dress for me: $99.00 David’s Bridal special

Bridesmaids dress for Nola: $79.00 ditto

Alterations on both: $60.00 my mom’s friend, a seamstress, Sofia

Joe’s suit: $120.00 JCPenney

Shoes: $40.00 white flip flops for the girls, discount shoes for the groom

Flowers: $60.00 2 bouquets, 1 boutinerre local, home based florist

Garden rental: $250.00

Reception/food/drinks: $1200.00 40 guests, $16/plate BBQ Buffet, bartender, room staff

Cake: $160.00 Frank’s Bakery two tier (I brought in the ribbon and used two pink flamingos as the topper.

Transportation: free – drove our own car

Decorations: $100.00 lots of AC Moore vases, ribbon, fake flowers.  Check their online coupons 40% off

Favors: $50.00 candy buffet in jars, vases, plant pots we owned

Misc: $200.00 I’m sure I’m forgetting something



I don’t know what Joe paid for my engagement ring and matching wedding ring. I paid $450.00 for his. That’s not included in that price. Nola and I got our hair done by a friend who gave it to us as a wedding gift. We didn’t go on a honeymoon.

So, by my calculations: $$2418.00

Not too bad. We were shooting for $2000.00 but given that on the national average, a wedding in America costs over $25,000.00, we did pretty well.



Some other things we did to save money that can be done anywhere, not just Maine.



• I made signs that said “Thank” and “you” and we held them up while we were taking photographs and used the shots to create cards online at Shutterfly.

• I got some dollar store plant pots and planted grass and fast growing flower seeds in them. I wrote the names of our guests on colored paper, glued them to seed packets, glued that to popcycle sticks and stuck them into the pots which were labeled with table numbers.

• Consider alternatives to the traditional buffet. You might be able to save money and throw a fun twist into things. We both love barbeque so when we saw the menu for a southern BBQ at the conference center – and at under $13.00 per plate – we thought it would be great. The ribs, corn on the cob, baked beans and cornbread was awesome!

• Cash bar – we don’t drink and didn’t want to pay for others drinks, but thought it only fair to have a bar available for folks who did want a beer or wine.

• Being a photographer it was killing me to not be able to take my own photos. My husband’s niece is also a photographer and took our photos as a gift. They turned out so good! I was really pleased with the results. Given that I can edit and have them printed and all that, she didn’t have to charge us for putting together an album. I just put it all up on my website.

• Cut back on the wedding party. It saves everyone money. You don’t have to go as bare as we did, but rather than having a maid of honor and five bridesmaids, how about just the maid of honor? Best man and two ushers? Think about how much you’d save in gifts and dinners and all that’s expected of you when you ask someone to be part of your wedding. Nola was our everything – flower girl, maid of honor, etc.

• Consider low cost venues for the ceremony. Sometimes the simplest places have a beauty all their own. A big open field, the beach, a fishing pier, a park gazebo, or a place that has its own meaning for you like your grandfather’s barn.

• Same goes for the reception site. Check with colleges and universities as they often have event facilities. Art galleries and public spaces like state parks are another good idea.

• Think creatively. Get ideas from the bridal magazines, but keep an open mind. Ideas for favors and decorations can come from many sources. Look around your house. Our wedding was in a garden so I went with a garden theme to decorate the reception. I brought in plant pots, used (new) trowels to scoop candy at the candy buffet, seed packets to assign seats, and picnic baskets to hold dinner rolls.

• Keep the crowd low. Do you really need to invite every relative or long lost friend? For us, we used these criteria: we didn’t send invitations to anyone who we thought would say “oh god, another wedding I have to go to.” We didn’t invite anyone we didn’t think would be genuinely happy to be there.

• Made my own invitations online at http://www.weddingdivas.com/. Skipped the RSVP’s and listed an email address and website for guests to get directions and confirm their appearance.

• Rather than a band or DJ, I put together an iTunes playlist of all kinds of music. Alternative music, Island music, some pop, some rock, some Sinatra, etc. and put it on our laptop which they connected to the sound system at the reception. You could do the same with your iPod. See what your reception site has to offer. If they’re also a conference center, they’re most likely quite wired and have someone on staff who knows how to pull it all together.

• I had created a slide show of photographs that ran on our laptop at the same time as the music and got projected on the screens in the room. I put in pictures I scanned in of us as children, anything good that included our guests, photos of places we’ve been and some of our families and relatives who couldn’t come.

• Don’t stress about perfection. Just relax a little and have fun.

Recovery Topic: Cracks in the pavement

Cracks in the pavement. That’s what you’re looking for.




You can’t force sobriety on anyone. A good friend told me that a few years ago. Staying sober is a decision that only can be made by the person doing it. Getting sober can happen many different ways. If you love someone who is suffering from addiction, you can help them get clean and sober, but only if you can find that cracks in the pavement.



When I was practicing active alcoholism, I had built that wall pretty thick. It was well plastered with being plastered. I couldn’t see beyond it and felt trapped by it, but I was afraid to step around it. Getting sober meant changing and that’s a frightening thing. It’s much more comfortable to stay with what you know. Becoming aware of just how bad it had become was one of the first times that I actually thought that there might be a problem. My family did the best they could, but it took another alcoholic to show me that there was another way of living. I went to Mercy Recovery to get sober, but it took a long time for me to stay sober. I would relapse then get sober, relapse then get sober, over and over again.

Seeing that a person could live without alcohol, and live happily, allowed just a little bit of sun to shine through that thick wall of fear I had created. It was enough to feed the roots of an idea that was beginning to grow. Soon, that idea was nurtured further by meeting new sober people, hearing their stories, and learning that I was not alone. I needed to see how I could live a sober life that would be better than the one I had. I didn’t think it was possible until I got a glimpse of it.



Last week, by friend Bill told me that a friend of his is in the hospital, in critical care. He had been vomiting blood for days and had collapsed at home. Bill said that he had been drinking heavily for years. A man now in his late fifties, he began drinking at age eleven. Bill told of a time that he and his friend had been out running errands when his friend demanded that he be taken home so he could have a drink. I just shook my head in understanding. The need is so strong. Bill is not an alcoholic and doesn’t know why his friend wouldn’t “just stop” drinking. He has hopes that when his friend realizes how close he has come to dying, that he will quit drinking. I suggested that he try not to be disappointed if that doesn’t happen. This is a powerful disease.

What he can do is suggest to his friend that he check out an AA meeting. He can offer to drive him to one and attend it with him. He can provide friendship and an alternative to sitting home wanting to drink by taking him somewhere, anywhere where there’s no alcohol. He can be there for his friend. The truth is that the best person to help an alcoholic is another alcoholic. All Bill can really do is suggest recovery.



It certainly wasn’t my intention to drink myself to death, but at the end, I was dying. I was caught in the cycle of addiction. When I went to Mercy Recovery, I did not go willingly. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to get sober. I couldn’t fathom the concept of never drinking again. No cold beers on a hot sunny day. No pretty little cocktails at fancy restaurants. The truth is that I had long gone beyond drinking that way. I was at the end and had run out of options. My parents were willing to help me if I went. They would help with the care of my daughter and would let me live with them afterwards. I could no longer afford my apartment. I had no license and my job. I had no choice. I went. I went to meetings and found out that there are more people like me out there. There were people with whom I could identify. Mothers and wives and daughters and sisters who needed help to get sober. Then I started meeting people who were all that AND sober. Then it clicked that I could still be me, but better. I could be a better mother, wife, daughter, and sister and all I had to do was not drink today. That’s all it takes. Don’t drink today. Tomorrow is another story. I got to know that there was another way.

Once you’ve been exposed to recovery, it kind of seeps into you like those weeds that come up through the cracks in the sidewalk. They get in against all odds. So does the message of recovery. Someone once told me that once you know, you can’t not know.

He has said over and over that AA ruined his drinking. By that he means that just knowing that he didn’t have to live that way was enough to change how he looked at his drinking. Someone asked him “have you had enough?” That’s what it takes: Being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Knowing that things can be better makes it more difficult to continue that current pattern of behavior.



But they have to want it. No one else. That is what will KEEP a person sober. So what can I tell my friend Bill about his friend? How can I help him help him? Perhaps the best thing I can do is to try to impart a little bit of understanding about this disease, and that it is a disease. It is not a matter of willpower. An alcoholic cannot “just stop” drinking, no more that you can stop vomiting and diarrhea when you have the flu. In fact, withdrawal from alcohol is more dangerous that from many other drugs and is best achieved with professional help. I recall my mother saying that my participation in a 28 day recovery program “had to work” as if treatment was as simple as that. I can’t say what “worked” for me. Over time, sober time, I started to get the message, and little by little, I thought about alcohol less. The cravings eventually ceased. The compulsion to drink left me.

What I have now is like they say. It’s a life second to none, one that I would never have expected as I sat in that hospital bed more than five years ago. The difference is that now I want sobriety and live a sober happy life. I think that the best thing I can do for another alcoholic is to stay sober and show her the possibilities.

Maine Travel: Bangor Like a Local (by a local)

Thomas Hill Standpipe, Bangor Maine

If you would have told me five years ago that I would be living in Bangor, Maine, I would have squinted my eyes and said something that would have included some choice swear along the lines of “no *&^%ing way.”

Yet, here I am. And I love it.




I grew up in the southern part of the state, which is where the bulk of Maine’s population resides, where the big city of Portland is, and as far north as I had ever expected to live. I had been to Bangor once, in college, merely passing through on a geology class field trip to Baxter State Park. I think we stopped at the mall to pick some one up. I didn’t even get out of the van. Bangor held no interest.

I moved out of Maine in my early twenties, first to New Hampshire, then to Connecticut for a twelve year stint. During that time, my friend Joe moved from the same area in southern Maine where we had met back to his home turf in Bangor. I figured we’d never see each other again, and if we did, he was going to have to travel because no way was I going THAT FAR NORTH. 

Well, I fell in love with my friend Joe and married him last summer.  I moved to Bangor more than four years ago. 


Reality is that Bangor is only two hours from Portland and well worth checking out. Its proximity to the flagship campus of the University of Maine in nearby Orono gives the area a diversity that’s unexpected. It is also the city that serves as central point to a large part of eastern and northern Maine, Washington and Aroostook counties. The lack of large cities in those counties gives Bangor the responsibility of providing social service offices, hosting regional tournaments, and maintaining a civic center and auditorium that affords the area the ability to enjoy concerts and conferences that would otherwise be inaccessible to many. It’s got the largest high school in the state. Each July, Bangor hosts the Bangor State Fair, the http://www.bangorstatefair.com/ and in August, Bangor is home to the American Folk Festival, which is a 3 day event, closing down streets near the city’s waterfront and attracting world class music acts on multiple stages. The food is fabulous and the whole thing is free. Please make a donation to keep it so. Here’s more info on the Folk Festival: http://www.americanfolkfestival.com/

Bangor resident Stephen King's home.

The city really is the cultural and commercial hub for eastern and northern Maine.



So enough about the history of the city. What do you do when you live here? How do you do the Bangor area like a local?

Start downtown. From one end of Main street, just off interstate 395, you can:



1. ATTEND an event (concert, garden or other trade show) at the Bangor Auditorium and Civic Center http://www.basspark.com/.

2. TAKE a gamble (adults only, of course) on the slots and the state’s only casino, Hollywood Slots http://www.hollywoodslots.com/.

3. EAT - Geaghan’s for awesome burgers and onion rings, Paddy Murphy’s Irish Pub for some brew and grub, Central Bagel, the Friar’s Bakehouse, just to name a few downtown establishments worthy of your dining dollar. 

4. ENJOY: live theater by the Penobscot Theater at the Bangor Opera House http://www.penobscottheatre.org/. 

5. SHOP:   some of my favorites are The Grasshopper Shop http://www.grasshoppershop.com/
Metropolitan Soul http://www.metsoul.com/, The Briar Patch, and Rebecca’s – all within walking distance of each other and all very cool places.  Side note:  Look for my photo cards at shops downtown!

7. DISCOVER: The Maine Discovery Museum resides on a large block of Main Street and remains one of my daughter’s favorite places to go. Three floors of children’s exhibits that are interactive and educational and just plain fun. if you’ve got kids and you’re in Bangor, GO. Admission is reasonable and you can spend hours http://www.mainediscoverymuseum.org/.

8. ART: the University of Maine Museum of Art is on Harlow Street and exhibits contemporary artists. Check out http://www.umma.umaine.edu/.

All this is just downtown. Thursday nights this summer the city offers live concerts in Pickering Square. Also this summer, the Arts & Crafts fair on the waterfront, the city’s Art Walks. You can find more info right here at www.maine.info/cities/bangor/events.php

If you’re looking for some outside activities check out Bangor’s City Forest for some hiking and biking trails http://cityforest.bangorinfo.com/index.htm. While you’re there, take a nature walk on a peat bog boardwalk http://www.oronobogwalk.org/.

Bangor International Airport will welcome you if you're flying. 



Interstate I95 will get you here if you're driving. 



Hotels and accommodations:


Any of the usual aggregators will find you a room. There are dozens of hotels in Bangor. Do be aware, though, that it’s not always easy to get a room, so don’t think you can drive into town and find one. There are many area events that bring people to town. For example, this weekend is the Special Olympics Summer Games on the University of Maine campus and participants come from around the state, book rooms, eat out, shop, etc. I had a friend who thought that of course he could get a room, it’s only Bangor, right? Wrong. He got a room, but miles out of town at a boutique hotel and twice the cost of a regular room in the city. His arrogance in thinking – as I had so many years ago – that there’s nothing here, cost him.

So if you’ve got time in Bangor, whether an overnight for a sports event or driving through on your way to maritime Canada or just looking for a new place to check out, surprise yourself with what Bangor has to offer.