Be Celeste

In Gretchen Rubin’s bestselling book, The Happiness Project, the author’s research on the subject of “happiness” leads her to discover things in her life that with a few small changes, would not only make her happier, but influence those around her. 

She sets about to focus on different aspects of her life each month and uses a list of her self devised commandments as guidelines.  The very first is “Be Gretchen.”

I love this idea.

So how do I “Be Celeste”?

A question of this sort, whether you are Celeste or Jane or Liz or Gretchen, requires an examination of self.  I have to know who “Celeste” is and sometimes that’s a difficult assignment.  The study of self is as old as human consciousness.  Since the dawn of self awareness the question has been raised.  But I don’t need to concern myself with who found out what about themselves in the history of the world. 

I have only one subject:  me. 

You have only one subject: you.

Celebrating a birthday is an annual milestone that always makes me take stock in what I’ve accomplished in the past year and what I hope to achieve in the coming year.  Accomplishments and achievements are part of what makes me, me.  My style of dress, my sense of humor, my dreams, my home, my tendency to procrastinate, and my desire to perfect the recipe for guacamole are all me.  For Mother’s Day, my husband and daughter got me a Vera Bradley bag – Reality:  I went and picked it out – limey green and aqua flowery swirly and I love it.  When I showed it to a friend, she said “it’s Celeste”.  I took it as a compliment.  But was it?

But what is, and who is, and how do I – how does anyone – determine what is you?

I think Ms. Rubin’s point was that when it comes down to it, be true to you.  Remember who you are and what makes you happy each day.  Those points will change daily and look totally different for each person.  Don't force yourself into a shape that doesn't fit you.  Accept that you just don't like everything you think you should.  Trying to be someone that you're not is a key ingredient in dissatisfaction. 

There are things in my life that I really wish I enjoyed;

I wish I liked sports, so that I could have this common interest with my husband, but really, I don’t like sports.  Forcing myself to sit and pay attention to some ongoing commentary about something that I don't care about goes against my nature.  If I recognize that and not feel badly about it, I will be a happier person.

My daughter loves sushi.  I’m an adventurous diner and have tried it on many occasions and I just don’t like it.  I wish I did.  I think the artistry and the culture of sushi is very cool and I would love to claim that as something I enjoy, but I don’t.  Be Celeste.

Trying to be someone I’m not will lead me to resentment and frustration.  That’s not a place I want to be.  I have to be Celeste.  Just because I truly don’t enjoy some things doesn’t make me less of a person.  In fact, it leaves room for other interests that I do enjoy, like writing and photography, cooking and eating, collage, cool earrings, pink flamingoes, seltzer with lime, exploring new places, hot summer days, the smell of fresh basil, peppermint and coconut, cat’s paws, Jimmy Buffett music, sleeping late and reading a good book.

Maybe we’d all be happier if we recognized that as individuals living in this time, in this place, we have tastes and expectations that differ from other people’s and embrace the differences rather than try to change ourselves or fight about them.

If you like the idea of examining what makes you happy, I recommend reading Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project”. 

More info can be found here:  http://www.happinessprojecttoolbox.com/

. . .  if you like that sort of thing.