Photography: Be Inspired!

I’m in a slump. I haven’t been able to shoot anything even remotely remarkable in the past week or so. The scene is great but the lighting is all wrong. The potential is there but I just can’t get the right angle on it. The subject is perfect but I’m rushed. Those conditions can lead to poor images or worse, none. It’s a struggle at times, to keep it fresh and going.

I need inspiration. How do you find inspiration? What is it that gets you out with your camera, creating images that upon view, just really please you? Isn’t it an awesome feeling to have made a photograph that wows you? I know that there are times when the perfect scenario blends into the perfect opportunity which makes a perfect photo. It’s breathtaking when that happens. I take my camera with me everywhere, in anticipation of capturing THAT shot.



I realize that these periods of diminished motivation pass. This too shall pass. I need to stir things up a bit. I recall that in the past, I have forced a change of scenery, whether geographically or mentally.



With a long weekend ahead of me, it would do me good to press the family for a road trip, to Acadia or Baxter, to Camden or Belfast. Day trips have, in the past, provided just enough of a geographical switch to keep me going for some time. Beautiful image feeds beautiful image. Flea markets, ice cream stands, parades always offer something new for my lens to take in.

Sometimes an assignment, even self assigned, can get me to view things a bit differently. The theme for this week at the 365 project is statues http://365project.org/discuss/themes-competitions/809/vote-statues. Pioneer Woman’s assignment for the week is “Coming Home.” http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography/. I’ve wanted to go out to the airport and shoot when the troops come in. I think I’d just cry, though, so perhaps not such a good idea.

I often look to other’s work to find a direction, however short lived, that may take me some where new. The assignments I just mentioned are one way. There are also sites like Flickr, where you can view the “interesting” shots of the past 7 days http://www.flickr.com/explore/. You can look to photographer’s blogs to see what others are up to. This is what my friend Amanda is doing these days. http://www.amandaproutyphotography.blogspot.com/. Miz Boushay is up to this http://booshay.blogspot.com/.

(Okay, now that’s two shots I’ve just seen of daffodils after the bloom. Perhaps the photo gods are trying to tell me to get down in the grass, let the sun shine through the seed heads, let the breeze blow and see what I get. One was even entitled “the clichéd dandelion. I guess this isn’t a new idea.)

My search for inspiration continues. The weekend could prove to be filled with photographic opportunities and I need to recognize them and sieze them. Perhaps I should view it like other things. Once you are aware that there is a problem, you can work to remedy it and find a solution. In this case, the problem is low motivation to photograph.


The solution is to look harder, closer, further, step aside, away, around, bend the light, cover the light, shoot into the light, work the shadows, find the blue, red, yellow, screaming purple and iridescent pink, tackle the texture, the waves, the dew and come out with something amazing.



I would love to hear how you find inspiration.  I have found that it sometimes comes from odd sights and changes in perspective.  That's what I propose.  Give myself a change in perspective.  Maybe even a laugh. 

The NEXT 45 Years

Yesterday was my 45th birthday. The weather was hot and the sky was blue, a near perfect spring day here at home. Had I been able to select the weather, I would have picked just that kind of day. As time passed through the day, I received many great birthday wishes via Facebook. My husband and daughter took me out for dinner then had a little celebration at home with the requisite cake and candles. It was a nice day.




So that makes today Day # 1 of the next 45 years of my life. Perhaps that implies that this is what I have determined to be the halfway point and to be honest, I’m shooting for 100 years, but just for the sake of conversation, let’s say that this is the start of the balance of the time I have to spend on this planet. I do hope that I am so lucky as to make it that far. With that thought in mind, I have been thinking about what I want to accomplish and experience in the NEXT 45 years of my life.



I started a list. Did someone refer to this as a “bucket list?” As I got into the list, I found that I had specific things, like learn how to make a kick ass salsa and ride Kingda Ka, and I had more general things like travel around for a year in an RV and stay strong.

I'm short on time to post today.  I think I will start a list here on this blog of the things I plan to experience during my next 45 years.  I would love to hear your ideas and dreams about what you want to accomplish in the next five, ten, twenty or even forty five years.  Please comment and inspire!

Recovery topic: Missing out?

“Do you feel like you’ve missed out?” The question was raised at a meeting last week. When directed at me, I replied as honestly as I could and said that no, I feel like sobriety has given me more than I feel that I’ve missed. I’ve been thinking about the question, and its resulting conversation and my response since then. Does the fact that I cannot safely drink alcohol mean that I miss out on the things in life that I would otherwise enjoy?

Tomorrow is my 45th birthday.  I spent my 40th birthday in rehab. I had just reached 30 days sobriety. Joe had been sending me cards and letters, but we were not yet a couple. One of the girls and I had spent the afternoon in the house kitchen making me a birthday cake, orange chiffon. They all made me a huge birthday card and wrote the requisite congratulations and birthday wishes. Not long after that birthday, I “graduated” from the program. The months after are filled with good things like falling in love with my friend, Joe and some bad things like relapse and disappointment. I was on the edge of life, wanting so desperately to be “normal” and be able to drink and party like I had been. The other side of that edge was I life I could barely see, but was at its beginnings. It gleamed on the horizon. If I squinted hard enough I could see a life of calm, an end to chaos and fear, days filled with what the “real” world considers “normal,” like taking my kid to school and making dinner for my family and being loved more than I could imagine and actually believing that I was worthy of that life and love.

Here I sit five years later with no question in my mind that I am worthy and deserve what I have. Do I think I’ve missed out on anything because I couldn’t drink through the last five years? Would my life have been better if I could have had beers at the barbeques that I have been to? Or pina coladas in the Caribbean? Or champagne at my own wedding? I honestly doubt that it would have enhanced any of the experiences I’ve had. In fact, when I really examine how it had been, the reality of it is that it’s unlikely I would have been invited to the barbeques. Nor would I have gone to the Caribbean. Getting married would not have happened either. If I had continued to drink as I had been, there’s a question as to whether I would have even made it to this day alive. I feel quite certain that Nola would not be living with me. I know for a fact that Joe would not. My parents were nearing the point that they couldn’t deal with me. The friends I had at the time, the few that were left, had grown tired of my antics and drama.

As to the question of whether or not I’ve missed out, I add – Missed out on what?



Okay – yeah I missed out. I missed out on going to court and losing custody of my daughter because it would have been unsafe for her to be left in my care. I missed out on getting caught driving while intoxicated because “I was fine”. I missed out on who knows how many fights with my ex-husband about who knows what because active alcoholism requires drama and self loathing and being a victim. I missed out on the loneliness and desperation. I missed out on a lot of crying. I missed out on having to apologize to people after having drunk dialed them, and then remembered it in the morning. I missed out on all the cringing and wondering exactly what I had done and said. I missed out on crashing my car and hurting myself or another person. I missed out on missing Joe after he had had enough of me. I missed out on staying in that crappy apartment and struggling to get through every day. Yes, I guess I missed out on a lot.

So as I round the corner into forty five years on this planet my worries and concerns face forward. I am not mired in regret. What did happen happened and not one tear is going to change anything. What did happen is that I got sober. That triggered a series of events that have made my life as wonderful as it is now. The amazing gift of balance and serenity has seeped into all other areas of my life. My wonderful daughter has the mom she needs, who can support her and love her and laugh with her. My husband has a wife who can truly be a partner as well as a friend and lover and a fun date. My parent’s daughter emails and calls them just about daily about the little good things. Being sober allows me to be all of this and more. I’m a co-worker that others can depend on, not gossip about. No one shakes their heads and wonders when I’m out sick. I’m a photographer with a clear focus not only on the business I’m building, but on the images I create and the image I cultivate. I’ve got gifts I couldn’t have imagined that day in rehab five years ago. I’ve done things I hadn’t even dreamed about. I have possibilities and determination, and no reason to believe that I can’t achieve whatever it is that I want.

The fear of “missing out” on the good stuff has a counterpart in “missing out” on the bad stuff. Talk about balance.

Maine Travel: "Guaranteed" Moose sighting at Sandy Stream Pond

When visiting Maine, many people come with some preconceived notion that the state is just overrun with moose. By the look of the souvenir shops, you’d think that the creatures are in everyone’s backyards, tethered to hitching posts, knocking over trashcans, and creating extensive traffic issues throughout the state. As a native Mainer, I can tell you that this is not the case. Spotting a moose is a rarity. I see deer, fox, and coyotes much more often than I’ve ever seen moose. So when my boyfriend said that there’d be “guaranteed” moose sightings if we went to Baxter Park’s Sandy Stream Pond, I was skeptical.

Exit 244 off of Interstate 95, about an hour and 15 minutes north of Bangor, will take you into Millinocket, Maine. On your left as you go through town is the Baxter State Park office of the reservation clerk. We found it very helpful to stop in. The woman at the counter was able to call ahead to the Togue Pond gate house and reserve us a parking spot at the Roaring Brook Campground parking lot. Allow yourself a half hour from Millinocket to the Togue Pond Gate. On the way, you can’t miss Pockwockamus Rock. It’s a huge rock by the side of the road that’s painted with Keep Maine Beautiful over a scene of a stream, black bear, and the mountain beyond. One side of it is painted with rainbows and birds.

Once you’ve parked, follow the signs. The trail is well marked. You’ll cross over Roaring Brook, its cold clear water running over smooth river rocks. It’s a short hike into the woods to Sandy Stream Pond on a well worn trail. Relatively level, it is an easy walk in the woods.



The day in June that we arrived at the pond, a few groups of visitors were scattered on the protective boardwalks but it was far from crowded. Before us and beyond the pond, there is was Mount Katahdin. Just as my husband had promised, there was a moose in the pond. A cow, she stood chest deep in the water, alternating between submerging her head into the water and chewing the grass she pulled up from the bottom. For the couple of hours we stayed at the pond, she moved very little, only to find fresh grass. I took photos, many of them, but as evidenced by my photographs here, I didn’t yet have my zoom lens. We had packed a lunch and sat to enjoy it on a large rock on the edge of the pond. The whole time, the moose ate and dunked, ate and dunked, as if we – and the other groups of hikers – weren’t even there. Eventually she walked out of the pond and into the woods.

When you go to Baxter State Park to see moose at Sandy Stream Pond, be sure to bring bug spray. The mosquitoes are huge and the horseflies could carry you away.

You can find detailed directions, park hours, and reservation information here: 

http://www.mtkatahdin.com//


http://www.baxterstateparkauthority.com/

Enjoy your visit! 

Ice Cream pitstop:

In Lincoln, south of Millinocket, there’s a great ice cream (and car wash) called Gilmor Farms. I had the Almond Joy, which was lusciously coconutty. My daughter had cotton candy, which she loved, and my husband had the – get this – Teaberry ice cream. Teaberry gum was my favorite when I was a kid and had I seen it on the menu, I surely would have ordered that. It was cool and smooth, just like I had remembered. My husband devoured it quickly despite his claim to be “not much for ice cream.”   You can bet that we'll return for more when we go back to Baxter State Park.  http://gillmorfarm.com/sitemap.aspx  Check out the flavors list!!

Photography: An Image a Day

It is doing exactly what I wanted it to do. I wanted to be forced, in a sense, to take photographs every day. When I signed up for the 365 Project – a photograph a day for 1 year – http://www.365project.org/ – that was the reason. I had been looking back through my photos from the winter and found that the days I shot something – anything – were few. As a photographer, that’s not a good thing. While on Flickr, I noticed that people had named their files “213/365” or something else that would indicate that this photo was part of a series. I searched and found this site where you upload a photo a day. It organizes into a calendar format if you wish and also can be viewed as a slide show on YouTube. It’s pretty cool really.

The upside is that you have to take a picture each day to post. The downside is that you have to take a picture each day to post.



Sometimes there’s not much to select from. Take Sunday for example. My choice of images from that day is sparse. That’s not to say that nothing happened. I did a lot of yard work and that was what I was attempting to document with my photos from that day, but I was tired, dirty and hungry. My hands ached from gripping tools and my camera was cumbersome. The shots I managed to get were badly composed and uninteresting. When I look back at it, though, I will know what I did that day: planted the garden.

Some days, well – so much to choose from that it takes me quite a bit of time to decide. Though I haven’t been doing this for very long, I do have a couple of months worth of images piled together to form a chronicle of my life. I tend to default to the photos that, although not always technically perfect photography, tell a story about the day. That’s the point, right? A chronicle of a year in your life.

There have been points where I get to the evening and realize I haven’t shot anything, so I look around. Some days I feel creative enough to rearrange the ingredients for dinner or go sit by the window and watch for some birdfeeder activity. Other days I just go find my daughter and shoot her.

It seems to me that it’s nearly metaphoric, this series of photos and their circumstances. Life is like that, some days there’s a lot going on and so much to choose from and other days, you just get by with what you can manage. Some days in my life, I feel incredibly creative, my mind running from image to potential image and I can’t focus fast enough. Some days I just float through and somehow get from the chaos of the morning to the calm of the evening and there’s not much change. Sometimes everything changes, yet it goes undocumented.

Assignments, whether self inflicted or dictated, make me view things a bit differently, constantly seeking the image I need. With this project, I look for the consummate photo that will tell all about my day, or a little about that moment, but nonetheless trigger a memory that without it, would fade into the crevices of my brain and be dispersed. My hope is that when I reach the end, whenever that may be, I will have a running documentary of the flowers I knew and the smiles I got and the things I’ve seen throughout the year.



I would love to hear from anyone who has attempted such a chronicle. Whether it was to capture your own face for a year or the growth of your garden, or whether you, like I, want to see the jumble of images that is your life.

Maine Travel: Marginal Way and Mount Agamenticus

I have so many places to tell you about. I was looking back through my photography over the past few years and you might guess that I have photographed each place we’ve visited and I can only say that we’ve been around. For today, I want to share a day we spent last September in Ogunquit and York. Let’s dub this another in my Spend the Day series.

We packed a fine lunch of sandwiches, cut up veggies and cookies for this one, thinking that somewhere along the way; we would find a nice spot to rest and refuel.

Marginal Way is a 1 ¼ mile paved walkway that begins in the parking lot at Perkins Cove and ends at the beautiful Ogunquit Beach. The walkway meanders along the rocky shore, affording stunning views of the cove, its shops and restaurants and sailboats on the water. The beautiful day that we were there, the deep blue ocean sparkled with the sunlight. Along the walk, there are points where you can step off and take in the view from an outcrop or beach. At the start of the walk that day, some creative souls had built rock towers that as we passed, were nearing their ends as the crashing waves crept closer and closer to their bases. We walked to the end and turned around to return to where we had begun. The kids were hungry and tired. It was Labor Day weekend, a very busy time on the walk, and their desire to run was hindered by baby strollers and lots of folks enjoying the day.

Upon returning to Perkins Cove, we grabbed our portable cooler, packed with our lunches, and walked through the village to a spot at the end where we sat near a small boat launch area, on the rocks by the river outlet, and enjoyed our lunch and the view.


Though it had been many years since I had been to Marginal Way in Ogunquit, it was pretty easy to find. From Route 1 in Ogunquit, follow Shore Road. As it nears the water, Shore Road bears to the right on its way to Cape Neddick and points south. Look for the signs for Perkins Cove, staying nearly straight as the road bends. Most likely you’ll see traffic heading that way. It leads you down a narrow street which will open into a large parking area. It is well worth the few bucks to pay to park there, rather than back out on Shore Road, opting to walk into the Cove area, although there are many nice little shops along Shore Road and a good sidewalk for pedestrian use. More info on what’s in Ogunquit can be found here: http://www.ogunquit.org/

With the kids wanting to run, we thought: The Big A. That’s the local name for Mount Agamenticus in York. http://www.agamenticus.org/recreation.html Back out onto Route 1, just south of Ogunquit, bear right onto Clay Hill Road (also called Agamenticus Road and Mountain Road). Follow these directions to Mount Agamenticus Park http://www.agamenticus.org/directions.html.

From the tower you can see the Presidential Range, with Mount Washington, in New Hampshire as its star. From the lodge deck, you can see the shoreline, with the Cape Neddick lighthouse and York beaches, all the way up the coast past Kennebunkport. It was beautiful. We walked the Witch Hazel trail that day, but had previously done the horse trail. There are more extensive trails, for hiking and biking, but that would have to wait for another day. The kids especially loved the large open area where they rolled down the hill’s green grass. We saw lady slippers in the woods and enjoyed checking out the old ski tow equipment that still stands on the mountain, a glimpse of its former life. There are picnic tables and waste disposal. We have picnicked there on another visit. Maps are available at the entry and along the paths as well.



The area has so much to offer, depending on what you like to do. You could spend the whole day, or a few days, exploring Ogunquit’s stores, restaurants and beaches. There are many funky little B&B’s as well resorts and larger hotels. The beaches – well, they’re beautiful in this part of the state – just what you expect for a beach holiday – and I’ll save that for another entry.

Hope you enjoy your active day in Maine!!

Recovery topic: Finding Balance

A busy weekend behind me, I look forward into the week spread before me. My date book tells me that I’ve got an appointment with my chiropractor on Wednesday and I’ve got to take my daughter to her guitar and singing lessons. Not much scheduled. Pretty easy week.




My to-do list, however, tells a different story.



Rarely do I find resolution or closure there. It never ends. There is always more to do. You might note that my Friday blog entry, where I have been writing about travel in the state of Maine, and look forward to doing so, never got written. It was on the list. The pies I wanted to make on Saturday didn’t get made. The photos I need to take for some cards didn’t get taken. The laundry’s not folded and I haven’t finished writing the story I want to submit to a writing contest, deadline last Saturday.

I wonder daily how to do what needs to get done in the small hours I have each day.



When I got into recovery, I thought that it would solve all of my problems. Bit by bit, many of my troubles disappeared. Now, a few years into sobriety, most of the bad stuff has gone away, either resolved by my perseverance or time itself. When it comes down to it, things are pretty good.



But how to find balance? This is a question I hear from many women, in recovery or not. How do you find the time to do what is required of you, whether that requirement is self imposed or demanded by others? How do you live life on life’s terms?



Maybe there’s something in those AA expressions. Take it easy. Live and let live. Easy does it. Let go Let God. Maybe those who have gone before me have found that if I allow myself to become discouraged and disillusioned, I will be more easily led to a drink. Maybe balance is more easily achieved with less on each spinning plate.

Perhaps I should think about what I did accomplish on the to-do list. Blogged 4 out of 5 days. Took Nola shopping for her friend’s birthday party gift. Shot photos for the 365 project I’m doing. Coordinated the prints and cards order I needed. Planted spinach, lettuce, and broccoli, daylilies and tiger lilies.



In looking back over how I spent the last week, there are things that never make the list. As far as accomplishments go, they are some of the most important. Spent some time with my husband. Enjoyed steaks and laughs with some friends. Snuggled on the couch watching American Idol with my daughter.

These things just don’t get scheduled into my life but they make my life complete. They are the reasons I smile everyday. They are the LIFE in life’s terms.



What makes you smile everyday and makes all the other stuff worthwhile? What balances your life?

Photography: Emotion and perception

water balloons itchin' for a fight

“Please buy my Mom’s pictures. Each one of them is a great memory for us.”




My daughter wrote this note and put it in front of the baskets of matted prints and photo cards I was trying to sell at a crafts show last December. At first I was a little embarrassed, thinking it wasn’t professional. It probably isn’t professional to have a child’s handwritten sign begging people to buy my work. But she’s absolutely right. Each photo is a memory. Photographs evoke emotions from your viewers, too.

The other night I was visiting a friend, showing her my card catalog and telling her about my plans to sell the cards and prints in various local shops. I have been a photographer for over twenty five years. From the darkroom to digital, it seems that a camera has been my companion for the better part of my life. At last count, I have nearly thirty thousand digital images in my computer and many boxes of prints and negatives and slides. The number seems unbelievable, but the reality is that each image is a second of my life. My friend, as she was looking through my photographs, pulled them out as she sorted through, commenting on each. For each, I had something to add, my story of that moment.



One image she liked is of a lifeguard stand at the beach, on a stormy, gray sky day. When she pulled it out, I sighed – ugh – I don’t really like that shot. Every time I see it I think it’s too dark and dreary. But she said “Yes, but I’ve been on the beach on a day like that, many of us have.” And I remember that day. Joe and Nola and I had gone to Ferry Beach state park in Saco. It was late May, the day before my birthday. I wanted desperately to be in the sunshine on the beach, having just this small amount of time to spend there. My disappointment comes through in my feelings about the photograph. My friend has a different connection with the image, one of good memories walking with her mother on the beach on days like that. It’s one image but holds different emotions for both the photographer and the viewer.

Minutes after taking the shot of the lifeguard stand alone, Nola climbed up to it. I recall taking off her wet sneakers. She loves the beach, no matter what the weather, and cannot stay away from the water. As we were leaving, I spotted these blue chairs in the dune grass. This image is one of the ones I sell most. People seem to connect to two empty chairs, and I think that it’s more about the possibility of sitting with a friend and having a leisurely few moments. Or is that just my perception?



A photography instructor told me something about this that has clung to me as no other lesson about photography has. He told me that each individual who sees your photograph will see it through the eyes of their own experiences and quoted an unknown author.



“For me, photographs take their power from memory and emotion. A picture tells its own story, shaped by the mood or insights of the person you are at the time you see it. It becomes layered with the past and the present.”

Though not technically perfect, these are some of my favorite images because of the emotions I connect with them. When I look back on some of the images I have, seeing the other photos from that day can clarify my feelings about that particular image. One image captures one moment – that moment – and tries to tell a story. Each story is interpreted by the viewer through their own lens, the lens of their life and their experiences.

An evening at the Great Falls Balloon Festival in Auburn Maine gave me this neat shot of a team of balloonists trying to keep the balloon down.  It also gave the a soaring balloon I used for this card, and I got this fun shot of Joe and Nola enjoying the time together. 

Taken within a few hours of each other, these shots are part of a great afternoon we spend with our friends, Dean & Karen.  First is a photo of Joe and Dean enjoy the view on Big Chick Hill in Clifton Maine, and later that afternoon, I took this shot of the velvety petunia's in Karen's windowbox at their home, while we barbequed bison steaks.  So much more than purple flowers to me.

This is the postcard view of the ruins at Tulum, Mexico.

This is what's behind the scenes at the flea market near the ruins.

Guess which one I framed and hung in my home?

I love this sunflower shot.  I photographed it at one of Nola's friend's house.  Her friend Mickayla's dad grew some GIANT sunflowers last summer.  I had to stand on tip toes to get this shot. 

Certainly not technical perfection, I still love this shot of Nola at the end of the covered bridge on our day trip to Moosehead Lake.  The sunshine and her happy walk make this photo for me.  Add that to my memory of a really fun day with her and Joe and this is priceless. 

I hope this illustrates how emotion colors the feeling of the image, even for the photographer.






As a photographer, do you ever disregard a photo that is a good image, but evokes uncomfortable emotions in you? Do you ever just fall in love with a shot that isn’t perfect but because of your memory of the moment, it becomes one of your favorites?

Here are some great quotes about the emotional aspect of photography and its connection to memories.



“You never know when you're making a memory.”

Rickie Lee Jones (American Singer and Song Writer)




“Photography, alone of the arts, seems perfected to serve the desire humans have for a moment - this very moment - to stay.”

Sam Abell




“Photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by holding it still.”

Dorothea Lange (American documentary photographer, 1895-1965)




“There is only you and your camera. The limitations in your photography are in yourself, for what we see is what we are.”

Ernst Haas






“Whether he is an artist or not, the photographer is a joyous sensualist, for the simple reason that the eye traffics in feelings, not in thoughts.”

Walker Evans (American Photographer. 1903-1975)






“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever... it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”

Aaron Siskind